Picking up the pieces

Allo everyone! seem like everyone here has his or her share of problems... well, wish the best for everyone...

sometimes, everyone need to let out once in a while... and now i'm just rambling so tat i can feel better for at least a short while...

well, my problem is just about the same as everyone else... it now slightly over 1/2 a year since she dumped me... and i'm feeling just as bad as the day she spoken the words ... it wasn't a very amicable breakup... it was very hard to keep my cool, so proud of myself tat i did not retort at all when she threw all those #%$#%$#%# at me, especially when she is the one who DUMPED me...

but although i noe, i tat i shldn't say thing in a heat of emotions as i will surely regret it later... it doesn't make me feel better... i still have this tempting itch to slap her and throw her words back at her...

and i got this urge to beat up her new bf

I'm trying so hard to calm down and control myself. but even after more than 6 months, it still hurt. I lost lots of weight, > 30% underweight now... no mood for everything, i hardly pick up my pencils anymore (i used to draw and write), basically, i just rot away everyday...

bit by bits...

read alot of stuff on how to heal a broken heart and such... but just can't do... i just can't find the courage to let go...

and it is killing me slowly, bit by bit... my life suffers, my grades drops... i can't focus at all... just staring blankly everyday...

maybe some day, i would get better... i truly hope so...

i just need the courage to let go... but u always have this nagging feeling, hoping tat some day she would change her mind... but i noe, it can't be... cuz she is as stubborn as an ass... u can squeeze blood out of rock before u can change what she had decided...

i think she handled it very badly ( i went to check against a checklist of do and don't during a breakup, she broke so many of them... ) and it is affecting me alot ... i tried to forget and forgive, but it is very hard... so much harder than the last one... the one before her, it took mi about 2 months to be smiling and friends again...

but her... even after 6 months, i still love her... just as much as i wanna dig her heart out... tat is why i'm not talking or seeing her at all... i'm afraid i lose control and do something i would regret...

but it hurts...

and all my friends are tired of my "whining"

now, i whine and wept alone...

alone...

darn...

hate this...

--- end of rambling ---

Time heals all wounds, but time kills all her patients too...

~ Eterna2

aww i am so sorry to hear that i really am but you know you really need to take small steps like eating more each day and do things that will take your mind off of her i know it hurts badly after a bad breakup but u cant live your life like this u dont deserve it you have to love yourself enough to say she is just a girl and you really need to try and move on as hard as it is u really do this iseating at your life and sitting and doing nothing wont make things any better i hope my advice works for you 8)

Thanks

It is just tat everything I does everyday reminds me of her. Cuz we almost share the same hobbies and passions. Find it hard to pick up my brushes and stuff, cuz they remind me of her.

But I guess I'm better now. Spend a lonely new year eve. Time really do dull the pain, as long as I dun think of her. just feel kinda lonely.

Thanks anyway.

no problem im glad to hear you are doing better if you have any more problems and need to talk to someone im the person for you 8)