I feel Like I'm Dying

I don't know what do do. My boyfriend of 1 year and 9 months broke up with me two days ago. I'm trying to accept it, but i can't. I feel like I caused the whole thing because I wouldn't move in with him. We met in college and after I graduated I moved home and he stayed in Mississippi (About an hour away).

He ignored me a week before the whole break up (we were on a cruise) so I knew something was wrong, but when I confronted him he said everything was fine and he was just messed up in the head. Then the day after Thanksgiving at 1:15 a.m. I IM'd him and he said we needed to talk. He said I crushed his dreams, I was too attached to my family, and that I lived too far away and he never got to see me. ( He broke up with me over the internet).... URGH!... I'm ready to move to Mississippi, but now I think it's too late. I keep thinking about him, and how we talked of marriage, and how much I'll miss him. I could deal with losing him as a boyfriend, but I can't bear not having him as a friend. He won't talk to me and I still have so many questions left unanswered... What should I do?

I wouldn't use moving as a means of motivation for him to get back together with you. You'd be doing it for the wrong reasons, and in the end things would probably not work out anyway.

Was the original plan upon graduation for you and he to immediately move in together, or was your moving back home something totally unexpected and not discussed? If all along you and he had talked of living together only for you at the last minute to change plans, then I can understand why he's hurt. His response is rather immature, but at least there is some rationale for the way he's acted if the case I've outlined above is true.

Can I assume that there was little/no discussion, or attempt to compromise regarding yours and his living situation? If there was talk what was the result?

You can attempt to try to work things out, but whether justified or not, it seems as though he's acting like a petulant child. Hopefully he'll come to his senses at least long enough to talk with you. Losing your best friend and soulmate is a heart-wrenching pain. He may or may not be willing to communicate with you. It would leave you as you are now, with no closure and many unanswered questions. If you make the good faith attempt to try and work things out and still get no response from him, then you'll have no choice but to move forward, and hopefully on to better things. This won't soothe the pain, but you'll at least know that you tried your best, and in the end are probably better off not marrying him.

I wish you the very best of luck. In the fullness of time, this pain shall pass.

Good Luck

you made a decision. you have to stick to it. try to keep in mind why you moved and why you didn´t move in with him in the first place. if this is his reation to not getting what he wanted, it is like blackmail.

i know you feel like everything is falling around you... but... if this guy is really worth it, he will know that he is being childish. first... not talking to you, breaking up by internet... come on! you deserve better than that and after all the time you have been together, he should know it. so, don´t try to talk to him right now, don´t apologize for something that isn´t wrong... send him a letter or message asking him to be nicer, to answer some questions you have and help you understand all this a bit beter.

hope this helps

See we are both from Louisiana. We started dating my Senior year and his Sophmore year of college. He knew I was moving back to Louisiana after graduating and we never discussed moving in together until about 6 months ago. I told him I needed a further sign of commitment to do that like getting engaged. Well thing sall seemed to be going fine until about a week before the cruise when he said he started to soul search and decided that we weren't going to work out. then he his this from me while we were on the cruise (ignored me), and then after Thanksgiving broke up with me over the net. I don't know what to do.. i can't eat or sleep. I keep thinking that if only I moved in with him then we'd still be together. I'm trying to work through it. I'm confused and hurt, and I feel like now I can't talk to him. Which sucks because he was my best friend. I just don't understand what happened and how he couldn't discuss things with me before hand, or at least break my heart face to face..