Commitment Issues..

okay I don't really know where to start. I haven't come from a very good family.. and I surely haven't had the best Childhood..you know how they say that from watching your parents you learn a lot about love and relationships.. well lets just say my parents never got along.. My father was murdered when I was nine, and ever since I'm just kinda like scared of guys.. but I got over that I guess and one day I met this wonderful guy.. which I did have a relationship with for awhile.. but of course.. he broke my heart.. and I guess after 3 years I'm still not over how he hurt me.. I've met this new guy (Jaret) who is just a "dream walking" kinda guy.. we kinda had something going on for awhile, but I made up all these excuses for why he didn't want to be with me. I know he loves me and wants to be here for me with everything I'm going through, but I don't want him to.. I don't want him to love me.. or have anything to do with me.. He says he doesn't want to be with someone if they ruined a relationship because they are scared of a past relationship.. I don't know what to do.. I want to be with Jaret but I'm just scared.. everyone tells me to take the risk.. but thats a risk I'm not willing to take.. Please help me out..

Thank you

~Jenn

Hey Jenn,

Giving your heart, your trust, your commitment is a big scary step.

Now, you can't be hurt if you don't try, that's fer shure.

I don't blame his feelings, he doesn't want to be fooled or hurt either.

Liking them is one thing, enjoying them, sharing and caring,

but you have nothing to give if you don't first know it and

have it in yourself. Looking for peace, then live peace,

looking for joy, then be joy,

want to trust and be cared about,

then start with yourself,

Love as though you've never been hurt.

Dad

Hi ,

I am currently in the same situation. I came from an abusive dysfuntional family who always made me feel worthless and I am still living with them due to financial difficulties. People can never tell what low self esteem I have because I can fake it well. I am now in a relationship with a guy from a very charmed life and I have tried to sabatage it by runnng out on him but he has been understanding (though his patience is waning) What I have come to realize is if someone likes you enough to put themselves on the line after you have tried to dissuade them or sabotage things they are worth the risk and there is something there that should be valued and not dismissed. I know it's scary, it is for me because I can't bare getting my heart broken but try to think positive. What if this person is the one. Don't let this chance pass because of negative feelings or the past. Don't let it haunt you. He thinks you are special and believes in you and you should too. Give it a try. Whatever happens you will always have the opportunity to make yourself stronger but I believe if you keep on thinking positive something beautiful will blossom such as a healthy relationship that will allow you to grow. It is not a do or die thing to be with this guy but it is a chance for you to experience something positive because you seem to like this guy and he obviously likes you. Hope this helps.

Tell us, step by step, all the things you're afraid of. We would like to help you get rid of the feelings that prevent you from going with your deepest wish.