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Thread: Does the pain ever end?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    BFE, Wyoming

    Does the pain ever end?

    I'll explain this in as much detail as I can for I am in need of help....

    It's been 6 months since my relationship has ended. I don't know where to start or where to end but this is how it all came about.

    I was seeing this girl for 3 years, In these three years we have had 2 children, I love these children and due to the fact that the economy crashed so hard over this past year we were finacially struggling. I decided that it was in my best and her best interest that we relocate to a location that has jobs to offer. After relocating everything went downhill we fougt all the time, there was nothing left, I was so in love she was so out of love, I made a lot of bad descions thru this relationship but she made some bad ones as well. Now after 6 months of crying mysekf to sleep every night nothing has chaged. We were engaged and we have children this makes everything hard, I don't want my kids to grow up with multiple male role models and never have a dad other then one that pays child support and lives in a different area. She don't want to be with me because she needs her time. So I try giving her the time she needs, but thats not enough. I don't want to be alone and away from her and my children but she don't want to be with me, This 6 months worth of breakup time has been a nightmare for me, But I have to deal with it, what makes it all harder then that is I see her often and everytime I see her it rekindles the flames that I have for her I try to make the best of it but that dont work either, I stay with her and get close but it's just me that gets close again when I feel that I really want to be with her still and she feels that she dont want to be with me. I cry so much it hurts, I wish things would just end so I could get on with life but I still can't get over her. There are small things that just completely set me off I mean nothing seems to be good enough for her, I see that she just loves pissing me off. I mean i try to enjoy time with her and she does stupid like takes a phone call when I'm present and goes in her room by herself and talks on the phone for however long she wants, Leaving me in the living room with my son, Yeah it's great to be with my son, but is this really something that all women do, I mean is there a reason this happens, Why would anyone just totally ignore someone that they call thier best friend by taking a phone call or going out all night with old friends or anything like that, I mea its obvious that I must move on but im deeply in love with her and have not figured out how to move on and still keep in contact with my kids and not fight with her. I live in a different town then they do so I don't see my kids every day I only see them when I can take a weekend off work and go see them, But how do you get over someone when you have to keep in contact with them for children, Obviously she has gotten over me cause she has no problem dating and going out with other guys so when I come to see her its nothing to her she don;t have those feelings for me so I'm the one thats helplessly lost in love and living the most painful part of life I have ever lived. All I want is advice on how to still keep in contact with my children and keep in contact with her yet not want to be with her as well. It's very hard to do all these things and at this very moment a lot of this might be running together but it's because I just got in a stupid fight with her and I'm just typing everything that comes to mind. Someone anyone please help me figure out how to get over a love of your life when you have to see her to see the kids you love as well.

    Broken hearted and confused as hell...........

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    You said it,
    she has gotten over you, she is moving on, and it moves you
    even stronger to hang on, to fight for that "love" you feel.

    Now, keep the love for the children separate from the love for her.

    Yes, you want to see the kids, and you should do your damnedest to
    give them your all, your best, and remain their Dad. No matter when
    and how, she is going to be there, all their lives, so deal with it and
    learn to separate your feelings for them and her.

    Many times we want something even MORE when we know we
    can't have it. So when you go there to see the kids, why do you
    think that she would have anything for you? Has she not shown
    that her interests are not in you anymore?? So why punish
    yourself. . . . . Why grasp for the crumbs, is that all you are worth?
    Move on, find some peace in yourself, don't look to her or
    anyone else for filling your heart and making you happy,
    I'm not saying look to anyone else, that would just cover up
    the real issue.
    Which is that you were hurt, you were rejected and abandoned
    as she has decided that you don't tickle her fancy anymore.

    SUX. we know.
    sooner you can leave the past right where it belongs, sooner
    that you will again be able to sleep, laugh, hope and dream.

    Best wishes for you,

    Now, give them kids a big HUG and to Hell with her,


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    I've gone throught the same situation bout 3 years ago. The pain and emptiness does go away with time. Anyone can give you advise but the only true way of letting go is within yourself. just be true to you and the kids. Cause you have all the love in the world through them. There is noone else that cant show you more dedication then your kids and this is when I let go. I realize that love will come and go and you may or may not like the outcome but your always loved. And dont look to get over the whole thing cause there always is something there but It goes away slowly. I was fine over it nearly a year going on with my life and It hit me once and I think she realized the mistake that she made and I've been fine since. well enough of me babbling Hope I helped a little if not at all. Good luck in the future and god bless.


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