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Thread: Advice on how to pursue a shy man

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002

    Advice on how to pursue a shy man

    Ok for starters, this is a neat forum, I am glad I found it.

    I am a pretty shy person myself when I talk to people that I like, otherwise I am totally fine in most situations.

    But...there is this man that I most definitely like. He is 31, I am 25. Anyhow, I think he is shy like me, and it's hard getting anywhere with him.

    We used to work together and during that time we flirted quite a bit, although I think he is a flirt in general.

    After I left that job he told me to come back and visit, which I then have done 3 times since (I left the job at the beginning of Sept), while he is at work. The first two times went pretty well, for some reason I was not that nervous, and when we got to talking we were completely okay. We found out details about each other like where he lives, where I live, issues at work etc. he seemed sort of nervous the first meeting though. At the third visit, we stared at each other back and forth (he works at hockey games so I went to "watch" the game), but I didn't go up to him because I was much more nervous than usual.

    In the meantime we converse over the internet, and I have tried to subtly ask him if he wanted to do something outside of his work, but he avoids the issue. He did say that he hopes to see me at the next game and for me to make sure I find him. This next game is in a few days.

    So at this next meeting, I know I have to get over my fear and just go up to him, but knowing that he is shy as well (at least I think so, he likes to just look at me so many times) makes me feel worse.

    What can I do? It seems like the more I talk to him online the worse it's getting to be!

    Oh and I know he doesn't have a girlfriend, although he does have some issues from the past that he has to sort out, as do I.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Chapel Hill, NC

    This is what you should say

    Tell him:

    I don't know your situation, but when you're in between girlfriends, can you please give me a call. Have a note prepared with your phone number.

    I hope this helps.

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