Men with ADD

People with ADD have trouble staying on topic. They may appear bored or unsympathetic. They have trouble maturing. They throw themselves into something without thinking about the consequeces. However, they have a gentle loving side. They tend to be very confident in certain areas. Find out what their hobies are. They may be very interesting when they talk to you about those things --job, computers, sports. They have a low level of frustration, meaning they don't handle serious issues very well. They don't like a lot of pressure. Don't try to change who they are. Work on their behavior. They know that they have problems in certain areas. Don't ask too many questions. They have trouble with deeper emotions, like saying they are sorry.

Hey Sister Lynch,

I was just wondering what sparked you to post about this??? I'm ADD and a men, hehe and I can totally relate to what you said. I'm very sensitive and loving at the times I don't feel like I'm being threatened or attacked. But becuase I feel like i'm consistanly not living up to my potential, I feel like i'm being attacked quiet a bit. I have a hard time concentrating, and an even harder time identifting with feelings and emotions. In the past I've turned towards drugs for the "numbing" feeling and also the self confidence.

Let's hope they soon find a cure!! Not just for aids, but for ADD also.

Sisterlynch, what is your background with this subject? I am just a little concerned when people state their opinion or experiance as fact without prefacing their topic with a brief disclaimer. ADD or ADHD is a dysfunction that is best treated by Dr.'s in this field. I see that you have an idea of the dysfunction but you also stated some untruths. Please be careful in your statements. Thank you.

Hey Speedracer...

Do you have ADHD as well? I found sisterlynch's description not too far off the mark regarding myself...except the 'maturing' part...kind of wondered what she meant there.

Otherwise...what didnt you like about the description...?

How would you describe yourself...? I chose the username outtathebox...simply because I for one will NEVER fit in the proverbial box that society wants us to fit in. Being ADHD, I choose to remain outside the box and as individual as I possibly can without being 'just like so-in-so' over there. Who wants to be a cardboard cut-out anyway. I like being different.... I am quite used to 'standing out' in the crowd...

Do need to learn to 'tone-down' a little sometimes though..

Sisterlynch is pretty close to the mark. I must disagree with the maturity and having problems saying sorry though. I think I am rather mature, ok so I like Star Wars and cartoons, that doesnt mean Im not mature. Im a big kid at heart.

Heres an example:

JUST read the last post from the new fellow. ALREADY forgot who he or she was..... THAT is ADHD... I will remember AFTER I shut down the computer....

With ADHD you are ALWAYS apologizing for something or other. Some think you dont mean it.... but you do. It comes from the heart. You just WISH you could STOP repeating the same damn mistake over and over and over !!

I did drugs in high school. Earned the name Buzz Watt. Now theres something you want to be so proud of [sarcasm goes here.]. When everyone else was incredibly stoned. I was not. Turned out that I functioned BETTER on drugs than without. After High School, I did not use drugs anymore. Dont even remember HOW or WHY I stopped. Glad I did though. When my SON was diagnosed ADHD with Oppositional Defiance, My thoughts were on myself all of a sudden realizing that I had the same characteristics as my son. My Doctor remembered the Drug use in High School, I trusted my Doctor to share much of my past with him. He sent my son and I both to the ADHD clinic trials here and we did several days of very very expensive testing. Sure enough, we BOTH had ADHD..... The drugs I took In school levelled me off. I could think better, remember, organize better...etc. I was put on Ritalin [my son also] at first. I say at first because it nearly destroyed me. Very foul headaches and low anger threshold....meaning I angered VERY QUICKLY and very violently. I now take Dexedrine. What a huge difference !! I recently started taking Effexor with it as an anti-depressant. Depression usually accompanies ADHD. I am happy to say that I managed to finish full time courses at two colleges and 3 1/2 years at University. Mind you, I had to study extra hard, and was INSTRUMENTAL with adding ''ADHD'' to the category of SPECIAL NEEDS at the University..... but I did REALLY well there. The category of Special Needs was good for EXTRA time for EXAMS, PRIVATE EXAMS in a QUIET environment...etc... Learning aids ...you name it.

Sorry this was long again...BUT anything to help another ADHD friend.

Outta The Box

I don't think I'm a normal person.

At an age of 15, I thought I had 'parkinson'.

At 17, I was comfortable with the 'depressed' label.

At 18, I realized that I didn't remember my parents ever hugging me.

At 19, I found about 'maniac depressive disorder'.

And the other day I heard about ADHD.

I really think I have one of this problems and ADHD is the best fit. I did not have a normal childhood but I just tought it was because of my parents...

I'm 20 and still I'm not a normal person, I act weird... sometimes I hide myself behind the "engineer to be" label to excuse some of my behaviors.

How can I be sure if I'm an ADHD case (without seeing a shrink)?

THIS IS KIND OF LONG...BUT FUNNY.....IF YOU HAVE A.D.H.D...you will RELATE.... It was a 'joke' sent to me.... Then I told the friend that....I DO have A.D.H.D.....and this 'joke' is very very accurate.... ENJOY..

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD....Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests. I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go throught the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only on check left.. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye...they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I am going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that its on the kitchen table...so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs....but first I'll water the flowers... I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels to wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day, the car isnt washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I cant find the remote, I cant find my glasses, and I dont remember what I did with the car keys. Then I try and figure out why nothing got done today, Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email... Turn the computer on and the phone rings. Go to answer the phone, chat for a bit, then say my goodbyes. Hang the phone up and go to the Den to watch some TV, walking first past the computer not noticing that I have left it on.... So... Where IS that Remote??

PRETTY ACCURATE HUH?? This is what an UNMEDICATED day looks like to an individual with ADHD.... That doesnt include all the EXTRA stimuli that surrounds you as you ATTEMPT to complete the simplest tasks. Even the ticking of the hall clock sounds like a Jet Engine sometimes....

Does this sound like YOU??

OuttatheBox

*LOL* I can relate, thats why I hate when people aske me what I did with my day, I honestly cant remember until I lay down to go to sleep then everything comes to me.

HI XEN....

That is another problem some people have with ADHD.... Lying down in bed for the night and all of a sudden... your MIND decides its 'wakey-up' time. You can sit for at least a couple more hours wide awake, re-counting the days' events. And remembering that... 'crap, I forgot to put the garbage out, or sign the kids school trip notes..'

Dont fight it. Get up, do a bit of quiet housework....NOT school studies or stuff requiring mental work....have a T or hot chocolate...wander a bit...go outside for a walk....then try bed again.

OuttatheBox

Very nice story OuttatheBox! Yeah, that's sounds like me In fact my life seems just like any other person's life who has ADHD. Or maaaybe... I'm just a bad sleeper and a big (NOT!) fan of infomercials...

My story is just like the every else smart kid who suddenly becomes a distracted young man. For people, like me, interested in real personal experiences, check link removed and link removed .

I think "engineers are usually weird". And that is the way I want to keep thinking... I'm just a really procrastic and distracted CS student... no excuses needed now that I'm just 2,5 years away from my degree

Thanks guys, cya

HEY....WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ''STAYING ALIVE ISNT EVERYTHING..?''

THAT CONCERNS ME. YOU ARENT IN 'TROUBLE' ARE YOU?? MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU ARE YOU KEEP TALKING TO US. YOU CAN EMAIL ME PRIVATELY IF YOU NEED TO.

I may be jumping the gun here...but that comment gave me the chills. Be GOOD ok...and take care of yourself. Please REASSURE me that I am IMAGINING THINGS OK??

OuttatheBox....and into the FIRE.... :scatter:

Mmmm... yeah, you're imagining things

I have to agree that it was a little ambiguous... that's a problem with the translation I made. A portuguese person probably wouldn't have noticed that second connotation.

I've learned to summon my maniac side when I get too depressed. So I no longer think about razor blades and that stuff... truly, I'm over it. Life sometimes is funny and we're gonna die anyway, so I'd rather ignore somethings.

But thank you. It feels really nice to know that you got worried with that. Well, don't worry about me any more I'm just really sorry that not every person who needs attention knows about this forum

WHEW..thats a relief.

They do worry about Suicidal tendencies with SOME ADHD sufferers. I have NEVER had to come into those kind of feelings regarding myself but my son has. He was only 9 at the time, actually jumped in front of a truck !! Dont worry. Got him some excellent help. And me too. It was hard to watch him suffer so, and I nearly lost my own mind wondering what it was that I did to make him have ADHD...then of course, discovered that it isnt anyones fault....its basically genetic.

He still struggles through school.... but he still has his humour and his great character !!! We always have our incredible humour to fall back on dont we??

OuttatheBox..

...but he still has his humour and his great character!!! We always have our incredible humour to fall back on dont we??

Well, I can't answer that as a certified ADHD but I have agree. I don't think there's a better way to get through some moments than looking at us as a different person and being sarcastic with ourselves.

You LIVE in HELL...? Portugal...LOL.... Thats quite the name for the town huh...?

As individuals with ADHD are weak to excesses and indulgences.. suicidal tendencies and depression are sadly just that...

Like I said.. very confident that I havent crossed that line. As an ADHD sufferer... I can see how easy it would be, because doing things in excess is unfortunately a 'way of life' for me at times... I just do my best not to forget my meds...

Do you have ADHD yourself? What meds do you take to make you cope? I take Dextroamphetamine [Dexedrine] for the ADHD and Effexor for Depression. I tried Ritalin but it made me incredibly angry...prone to anger...aggression...etc... Not a good thing. Am fine now...but it took a few years to get just the right dosages... How about you?

OuttatheBox from Ontario...seeing as I know you live in Hell... Actually Unmedicated &/or Undiagnosed...or MISdiagnosed......... Just about everyone with ADHD lives in Hell too....

LOL. "A Woody Allen movie" could describe it better but "Hell" has a better length

I'm UNdiagnosed. I didn't want to be diagnosed, but it keeps ringing in my mind, so I might really go see the local shrink here at the university. Maybe next week.

Being undiagnosed let's you live in a free way. You just have to be classified as being weird. And that is no big deal. You become some sort of a hippie. Every abnormal behaviors and excesses can be explained because you are a hippie! And because being a hippie is cooler than being "clinically mentally ill", you end getting a little more from life.

Being dignosed gets you a lifetime tag. People (even some friends) start dealing with you like if you were a retarded, all asking: "Do you need help?". And suddenly you come from healthy young man into insane lost individual. It interferes when you apply for a job, when someone meets you, when you least expect, etc..

You asked about medication. Sometimes I use coffee I'll let you now more if I get that meeting with the psychologist. But taking pills that mess with my brain and way of thinking doesn't look good for my self. I'm already too unpredictable

ME AGAIN....

as for being free to be weird and hippie like... I did two college programs and 3 1/2 years at University... I really had a HARD time focusing when I was there, studying was hard...developed a million ways to do it...

Was diagnosed when I was in University.... THANK GOD.... Didnt develop a LABEL, as my poor son has... BUT was very instrumental in getting ADHD added to the disability office in such a way to allow for QUIET study rooms, QUIET EXAMINATIONS...no one else to distract you!! etc. AND LONGER EXAM TIME....!! Up to TWO hours longer than others...! Fabulous. If you are currently going to University....this COULD be used to your advantage...AND NO ONE BUT YOU AND THE PROFS need to know. thereforeeee, none of your peers calling you retarded...etc...

What else...oh ya...COFFEE... That is a DEFINITE ADHD soother...!! Coffee works as well as dexedrine, ritalin etc... JUST makes you P like a racehorse every half an hour...because you HAVE to consume a lot of coffee. I dont touch the stuff...dont need to.

Go and have yourself DIAGNOSED...get some help....It is a WONDERFUL eyeopener. I did FABULOUS in University when I was medicated and taught the skills needed to manipulate my thinking and my habits !!

TRY NOT to let the stigma or the Label worry you.... ONLY YOU ...and of course....ALL of US HERE ...need to know.... We can STICK together here.

OuttatheBox

I got a light diagnosis by my general medicine doctor. The psychologist at my university is too expensive, and my doctor is free. That's what social security is for.

After a LOT of questions she said: "I'm almost sure you have ADD or ADHD". She added that in my country, the difference between ADHD and ADD is not clear, those children who are hyperactive usually end being diagnosed, the others who are just very easily distracted, almost never get to know that they have a problem. That's one of the downsides of being born in a country where the rain just brings water (and some pigeon crap).

I am not going to have further examinations nor tests since I rejected the hypothesis of being medicated. If things get worse then I might have to do... something. I will just read some stuff that she recommended.

It really is a problem. She thinks I'm crazy about rejecting the medication without even being sure about the problem. LOL, you should have seen her face something like this:

Anyway, thanks to all the people who posted in this thread, specially mr. OuttatheBox. Now... there's something else I should be doing... mmmm... oh! Sleep. Right.