My girlfriend is at the end of getting over her EX...

Hi, I really need some help...

Please bear with me it's a long story!

I have been going out with this girl for about 3 weeks. I have always been very friendly with her having known her for several years. She broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, a 3 year relationship which ended because he wanted to see other girls, this was her first boyfriend.

She has told me before that she still loves her EX (as in terms of first love). It's very strange because some days she is perfectly fine and she really doesn't think about her EX at all, she is usually totally focused on me. However, just recently she has been ignoring me quite a lot, The whole relationship feels like a rollercoaster ride. She has told me she loves me and all that and that she has become very attached to me. But it just hurts to see her ignoring me. She keeps on telling me she wants this to all work out and if she could she would stop having these feelings for her EX. She realises that she must be hurting me a lot. I really want this to work out too. The thing that makes this more difficult is that she still sees her EX on a daily basis at school. so i guess she is constantly reminded.. She says that she is at the end of getting over her EX

Please, if anybody can help me on how to react in this situation i'd be grateful, what should i do to help her??

thanks,

James

Hi,

I want to tell you that I understand where you are coming from. My boyfriend just ended things because although he does not want to get back with his ex the pain she caused him is clouding his judgement and he needs time to get over it. The best thing to do is be there for her as just a friend until she is completely over it. He too became distant the last couple of days and completely shocked me by ending things. It will be easier now then in a few months when you have become very attached to her.

I came from exactly your situation 6 weeks ago, the only difference being that once her ex found out about us, he wanted her back and she went back. We dated for about three weeks, and we started out as best friends before dating. Anyways, once he knew she was with me he started to call and tell her things like " your the only girl I ever loved", I think you get the picture. She told me he didnt mean a thing and not to worry. this behavior went on for about a week. So, one day I called her up to make some plans and she told me she was confused. In so many words I told her that the fact she needed to make a choice was reason enough for me to leave, and thats what I did.

So my advice to you is this: If your already having probs of this nature after three weeks, move on. Cause if you don't, she prolly will. And you'll really feel bad. I say to hell with the whole lets be friends deal, or trying to be there for her. She's not there for you and so she says that she knows its hurting you, then why is she doing it. She will see you as weak, and desperate by hanging on to her, while she really wants to be with that other jerk off. Do you really think you could live with that, knowing her thoughts were with him, while being with you. Leave now, the writings on the wall. She is obviously not interested. Save your dignity.

You sound like a nice guy, and I also was the dreaded "nice guy". But overall she will see you as desperate.