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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002


    I have been married to my second wife for a little over 8 years now. I still love her deeply, but our life together has become hum-drum and overly predictable. At the same time I have been in mutual contact with my ex-wife, who I haven't talked to in almost ten years. She was my first and we married young. Divorced almost a year to the day, due to her infedelity, and I was hurt deeply. But here's the kicker, I find I still have strong feelings for my ex. Am I crazy? She has told me she still loves me and would give up everything this minute to get back together, and I believe her. The bad thing is I'm actually humoring the thoughts. I cursed the woman for years after our divorce but now am finding feelings that I haven't had in a very long time. There is no problems with my current wife and I other than I think we have fallen out of love. We also have two sons (current wife). My mind is in total chaos now. Can I keep my ex as a friend? I feel sometimes like she and I want to get back together, but am I living a dream? Let me know what you think, I'm at my wits end.

  2. #2
    Member overcorrect's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Oklahoma USA
    Some things you need to consider before you make any decisions... You must consider the fact that this ex of yours might just be trying to manipulate you again. Believe me when I say that it might be just the huge ego boost she needs to steal you away either physically or emotionally or both. You must consider that she is basically getting one up on your wife who I'm sure could be pretty damn potent when it comes to fighting for her husband. Also consider the fact that she did divorce you once before due to infidelity and to be truthful she is being promiscuous again due to the fact she want's to get back together with a married man. If you look at it, she is the one in control of the relationship between you two and your feelings. The ultimate way you could get over her (since 10 years didn't seem to do it) is to take control of the situation and cut off the relationship pronto. Show her that you are indeed control of you life. Now I realize that people can change quite a bit in 10 years but honestly, did it take 10 years for her to realize that she missed you? One last thing to consider is this... Do you honestly think that you could see your second wife out with another man? Could you handle the fact that she could be sleeping with another man? Could you deal with the fact that your children would see this other man on a daily basis if you did divorce your current wife? If you could handle those situations then maybe you either need (the first option) counselling or a divorce. Your wife can be new and exciting to you again. You just need to rediscover her. Either you rediscover her, or someone else will discover her for you. If you look at it, you are technically in two disfunctional relationships right now. In order to have any normal relationship you need to concentrate all your energy into one of them. What's really jacked up about this whole situation is *gulp* I was in it one time. I learned my lesson the hard way and I barely got out of it by the skin of my teeth. It still hurts today because I let it go way too far. Don't screw up a good thing for nothing.


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