How to get the ex outa his life!

Hey Guys,

At present i am currently traped in a bit of a bad situation, i have sorta fallen for this guy who is undescribeable, he has a womanising past but unfortunately 4 me their is something about him that has captured me, like neva b4. I am 17 years old, but unfortunately got in 2 this love game a bit to early at 15 since then nothing but bad relationships 1 afta another!

Luckily for me I have the opputunity of seeing him more a less when i wan't seen as all my mates that iv grown up with, who are older than me, in their 20's are his mates 2! He's given me possitive signs and often when we r 2getha normally at da pub, their is strong body language between us, often to the extent that my mates are now quizzing me about whats going on between us, but also warning me of him, saying that he's a lovely guy but a terible womaniser,but I don't see him in that light even though parta me tells me he is!

HERES THE PROBB!!

Last nite when I was in the pub with him and our mates, his ex, who unfortunately is always hanging around was pisd and she ended up crying and guess whose shoulda it was on -MINE! I heard all about their 3 and a half year relationship, how much she loves him and is not ova him. I dont no whether or not this is because she sorta no's that we like each otha, as it is blatent that he likes me&vice versa, or that she was genuenly upset and needed to talk to some1. I know that he doesn't want her back but im not being nasty but why can't she stop hanging around him, everywhere he goes, she goes and even though I like the girl, I don't undastand why she can't leave him 2 get on with his own life. This is all confusing me, i know what I wan't and thats him but how do I play it cool, with his reputation, and his ex hanging ova my head, you advise would be much apreciated,

Many thankx, love to you all,

Lauraxx

Hi,

I read your post, and I recognise some of what you're sayin. I think there's a few issues there you should consider.

firstly, that you've got into lots of bad relationships, even at 17. I got into a bad relationship early (14) and didn't leave the guy for years. I recently (2 days ago) split up with a guy that sounds a bit like the one you're describing. I knew he had cheated on his exes before, and that he used to take home lots of random women. But he said since he met me, I'd changed him. We were together for 15 months, and he made me happy, but there was something about him that made me extremely jealous. i couldn't describe it, but maybe it was the way he spoke about other women. I don't know. But a few weeks ago, he cheated on me. I'm not saying he will turn out like my ex, but I just thought I should warn you that he could end up being another bad relationship. Its easy to fall into the destructive pattern of falling for the handsome, charming but bad guy.

Secondly, are you sure you want to date a womaniser? How does this suggest he will treat you? People do change, but it is a big gamble. he may break your heart.

And lastly, his ex. It is a bit weird she's still hanging around, maybe he's still stringing her along, or she just can't get over him. But if you get with this guy, will this bother you? Its unlikely she'll just disappear. You have to consider whether you can handle the bad stuff that comes with this guy. it sounds like he really hurt this girl.

I probably sound quite negative, but I've just had my heart broken, and I just think, *be careful*. There are so many loving, kind, respectful guys out there; why go out with someone who will treat you badly? And if you do get together, and he has changed, then thats great. But I think you should be careful before you rush into a relationship with a known womaniser!

i hope you work it out

Emmorey