I made the wrong decision, now he's gone :-(

I'd been with my boyfriend Steve for 3 years this June. We'd lived together for almost 3 years and had been engaged for 2 years. But in July I broke it off with him for many reason which included; I wasn't sure I loved him in the right way (I thought it may of been a best friend thing), we both needed to move on with our lives and go to UNI and stuff, I wanted to see other people. He didn't want to break up, he said he'll always love me. So, he went back to where he used to live (10 hours away) for a few weeks to sort things out to move back up there. When he came back he had enrolled on a UNI course up there, which started in a week from he came back (the UNI course starts tomorrow). I didn't expect it to happen so soon, but he was moving back up there. We said to each other that it wouldn't be the end and we don't know what would happen in the future. During the month we'd been split up (although we still lived together) I met someone on the net and I thought I loved him, and he is madly in love with me. Now I'm not so sure. My EX boyfriend Steve (the one that just left) left yesterday evening and I can't stop crying, I'm hysticial. I feel like someone has died and I feel so alone. I think now I've realised that he really is the one I want, but now what? He's gone. He can't come back and I've just got myself a job here. I don't know what to do, but all I know is I've got to be with him. And the other problem is this person I met on the net is completely in love with me and I don't want to break his heart (I love him too, I think

I've took the day off work today because I'm such a mess. I feel like I can't carry on without Steve. I keep hoping that when we speak later, that by some miracle he'll say he'll come back.

Oh what have I done!?

Okay, I've been in a similar situation such as Steve's and believe me it is not fun at all. You have to understand that anyone who is needing to move past pain in their life has different ways of dealing with it and it sounds like he has resolved to move on and keep living. You will surely throw a monkey wrench into his life yet again if you tell him of your feelings and make him want to move back. It sounds to me that you were the one who broke it off and it is your job if you want him back to pursue him. You should not tell him that you want him to move back and if you truly wanted him you would be willing without question to quit your job and move up there with him if he will still have you. Believe me when I say this... It would be extremely selfish and unethical for you to make him move back because of your own selfish reasons. If you want to alienate him for life all you have to do is get him to move back and then go right back to the "not sure" status you were previously in with him. Next, the fact that you have another male that is in love with you and you are doing the exact same thing to him is beyond selfish. You mush realize that you technically are in not one but two disfunctional relationships and you must terminate one completely in order to have one normal relationship. Completely. Don't be one of those girls that guys have a tendency to say has "issues". Not trying to be harsh on you but I know first hand how Steve must feel and a complete swallowing of pride and for you to come to him is what he is wanting deep down inside (that's of course if he still wants you). Show him positive steps that you want it to work so he can justify it to his friends (believe me, what they think matters) that he is going to take you back because "She even quit her job to move up here" sounds like an extreme commitment. Do things for him that you have never done. If the thrill of the chase is what you like and you don't want a relationship with anyone after they have committed to you then you just need to leave him alone. Remember the old saying: You don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Oh my gosh!

In my most humble opinion...I think you might need a few weeks on you own. That way you have a better idea of what you want. And then, if it is Steve, (and I'm sure it is),I agree that you should pursue him...with flowers and all! After all, you broke the guys heart, but he's man enough to live on with life. I think that in itself deserves some attention.

I really do think you need some YOU time-to sort it all out in your heart and head.

Good Luck!