can i get her back?

My girlfriend of 18 months recently broke up with me to go out with somebody else. We were having some trouble, and I was trying to work it out. Were still good friends, and I have told her that I still have feelings for her, and that I desperatly want her back. I've cried many a night thinking about her. I need to know if it is at all possible to get her back. I've tried telling her how I feel, but I need to know how I can get her back, or if it's a lost cause. I want to move on, but it's impossible.

Man, I can totally relate to what you are going through right now

because I went through the same thing very recently and I am still

going through it in some ways but I am doing much better. First

things first, and this may hurt a little, but it is DEFENITELY over.

From the way you have described things, there is no way you are

going to get her back. She left you for someone else! This is not one

of those situations where people split up only because they are having

problems that could possibly be worked out. She has found somebody

new that made her feel excited and good enough to give up what she

had with you. I went through the very same thing. My fiance left me

for someone else and I was absolutely devestated. I kept thinking that

maybe there was a possibility we would get back together because

everything we had shared together was so deep and profound to me

that I couldn't possibly believe it was over. I remained friends with her

and spent time with her just like you do. This went on for about 3 months.

During those 3 months, I was miserable and made absolutely no progress

towards recovery. It took me awhile to realize that she didn't feel even

1% of the loss that I did and that she never did because she had filled

that void with the new guy before she even left me. She only wanted to

remain friends because her parents liked me so much and so that she

didn't have to feel any guilt. My guess is that your ex feels absolutely none

of the pain that you do when you get together. This arrangement is

completely in her favor. You wallow in pain, she still gets to share your

friendship and feel no guilt. Here comes the most important part of my

message. The reason you are feeling that it is impossible to move on is

because you still talk to her and see her all the time. How could you

possibly move on!! Even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done,

you need to disassociate yourself from this girl . It may be

possible for you to be friends with her in the future, but now is defenitely

not the time. You have got to tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be and

that you absolutely, positively need to move on if you are ever going to

feel like a complete person again. I simply told my ex not to call me anymore because I was at my wits end and I knew there was no other way out of the depression unless I did. I finally took this step about 4 months ago. It was the absolute best thing I could have done. By being away from her, I've been able to discard some of the blindness that ussually comes with love and I've learned things about my past relationship that I just couldn't possibly have seen when I was with her. I'm by no means completely over her yet. I still think about her all the time but I know now that it wasn't meant to be and any thoughts to the

contrary are just wasted emotions. She is defenitely not there for you

anymore and the only way you will ever find anyone that will make you

feel the way she does is by forgetting about all your hopes regarding the

relationship and becoming familiar with the reality. I probably haven't

written anything that you want to hear, but I hope you take something

from it and feel better SOON!

Thanks for your help. It's going to be hard for me to distance myself from her. I still have many feelings for her, and I know it will be difficult for me to let her go. I appreciate your advice, and I will follow it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person that feels this pain. You are right, and I know what I have to do now. I can't thank you enough for your response, and I hope it works out for both of us. Thank you!