I Need Help!!! Im lonely!!!

Hi my name is Ben. I am having trouble in school. I am a junior in high school and have never had a date. Not even anywhere near it. I have missed the first two years of high school due to an illness and have no friends really. I mean there is the sort of friends right now but no one to hang with, but I eat lunch by myself usually in a teachers class. I cant really relate to anyone because i dont know whats cool and Im definitely not cool. I am not attractive at all, like I have a hair problem (missing in some places). Im not a geek or anything because I see them and Im not like that. I hear all the time, "Oh your such a nice guy." I realize I need to find a group of friends but its hard. I am very smart and incredibly nice from what I hear. I also hear Im cool, but whats wrong. I have been turned down once before from a girl that was a very good friend of mine, we never talked again!!! I have a girl I like right now but I dont know what to do. She is popular and involved in a lot of school things. I want to join some too but I dont want to seem too obvious. Everytime Im around her I always have a smile on my face, I dont know how it happens but I almost always do. PLEASE HELP ME!!! I need any help I can get on anything. That means being cool, girl advice, help getting friends, ANYTHING!!!

Hi,

I have a lot to say, but I will try to make it compact.

Rejection: Their reason is irrelevant. Your reaction is what's important.

Consider this: If you are constantly getting rejected by potential partners, think of it as an opportunity to look at the vibes that you are sending out to other people. Are they anger, sarcasm, insensitivity etc etc?

If we are sending out positive vibes, as a general rule we get positive vibes in return. If you are always getting rejected, it is a signal that you have some work to do on yourself. What is important is that you see it as AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH, NOT AS A FLAW FOR WHICH TO CRITICIZE YOURSELF.

Do you what you enjoy doing and the dates and friends will follow.

Speak kindly to yourself, praise yourself, love yourself.

words and advice from Susan Jeffers, 'Dare to connect'.

Ben,

This is a very difficult topic, being a junior in High school is a very hard age. And, the situation that you described is difficult, hopefully my advice will help.

The most important thing that I can stress to you first and for most, is to get to know yourself. Neil Clark Warren wrote a wonderful book called Two dates or less. Which asks questions like, what is the most important thing to me, who is the most important person in my life, what are my interests, etc.

Okay, once you have those figured out get involved with as much extra curricular activites are you can possibly handle. Join as many clubs, and be yourself around this girl that you mentioned you had an interest in. Being yourself is key, because otherwise they really do not know who you really are. And, you want to them to know who you are, because you mentioned you are a nice guy, and you want this girl to see that.

I hope this helped.

Denise

My hair started receding very early too - maybe when I was like 16 or 17. Instead of attempting to hide it, I had a really short buzz-cut and you can't really tell where my hair stops and starts.

Hope this helped.

Yo what's up I know how you fell but I not in high school yet but I think your friend probly just rejected you because your friend didn't want to ruin you frienship.I think it might help if you tryed to be more positive toward yourselve. As for the new girl you like try some after school activitys and try talking to her and find out more of her intrest.

GOOD LUCK!