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Thread: Help need to talk to someone My lover left after two years

  1. #1
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    Aug 2002
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    1

    Help need to talk to someone My lover left after two years

    Help,

    I thought My relationship with Miles was going to be for the next 50 years and he denied being on line and posting an ad, when I saw the bank statement it turned out to be true, even one of his little friends called the house, and when I confronted him with that he walked out, I am still hurting this man was the greatest love of my life and I know most of you will tell me to get over it, but when you are that deeply in love it is very hard, it has only been four months help!!!!

  2. #2
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    Aug 2002
    Location
    Australia
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    You're not alone

    Timothybb

    I know so well how you feel right now as I too have been left by my partner of three years with whom I wanted to spend my life with. Although everything seems so bleak now and coming to terms with the fact your life will take a different path to the one you imagined is so so hard, you have to have faith and believe that there is a reason you are no longer with this person. My partner was my first love and boy did I love him with everything - but maybe I only thought that was love, I haven't experienced it with anyone else and I believe that when you do find someone you really connect with and are in love with, you will look back and realise your relationship with this person was nowhere near as special as the 'one' and you'll be glad you are no longer with that person.

    It's hard to take this advice and realise there might be a brighter happier day out there. I am still struggling with it myself, but I don't want in a years time to still be miserable over some bastard who didn't treat me very well anyway. You have to pick up the self esteem, realise you are a great person and surround yourself with positive, helpful, sympathetic people. People keep telling me time will heal the wound. I think you need some kind of finalisation if you already haven't done it, I sent a goodbye letter and included all the special things that we will no longer share together and sent the rest of his personal affects. I miss him so much, but I am thinking it is the relationship I miss, the company and the security. Being single is so scary but hey, if we don't do it and start looking positively, Mr Right might just pass us by. Fate has a plan and it sounds like it is going to plan - even though it is beyond our understanding and comprehension.

    Hang in there mate, things have to get better. Be kind to yourself.

    Cara23

  3. #3
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    Sep 2002
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    2

    i know how you feel

    everyone says to get over it and move on. it is so much easier said than done. i constantly think about the times we shared, i wake up in the middle of the night and expect him to be lying on his side of the bed. i hate it, and its been 7 months for me so far. it has gotten better but i still have my ups and downs, my good days and my bad. i really feel for you and im sorry that happened to you! i really know where your coming from. i thought that we would get old together. we planned out so many things for the future and one day he comes home and is unhappy and leaves. we are selling our condo right now, and all the accounts and titles for the cars have been separated. the hardest part i think is surviving the seperation of not only the person but dividing up all the things you have acquired together over the years.

  4. #4
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    Apr 2002
    Location
    New Hampshire
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    4

    I'm by your side

    I don't know you but I do know exactly how you are feeling. My wife left me and my children behind. I am so in love with this women and the last 6 months of my life, I've been through hell, crying every night, wanting my soul-mate back, or who I thought was my soul-mate. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, because If I did, I'd feel better, and I don't. I'm so sad, and I guess it helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing. It's not fair that a person can hurt another in the way that we have been hurt. My wife only left a short time ago and already she's getting involved with another man. I"m destroyed. I wish you luck and the only thing I see helping right now is time. Good luck to you.
    email removed

    I"m always willing to listen

  5.  

  6. #5
    I'm familiar with the kind of pain you're feeling because I'm going through the same thing. My love left me to go back to her emotionally abusive ex. It hurts so much because I was so good to her. Believe me, everything will be alright for the both of us. Right now the pain seems unbearable but hang in there. Believe it or not, with the passage of time the pain will be less and less intense until there's no pain at all.

    It's important that you find ways to express your feelings. Write them down in a journal, tell your best friend that you need some support, find some positive activities to get into, have a good cleansing cry to relieve your stressful sadness, look up informative websites like this one and most of all have faith that you're going to come out of this victoriously...because you will!

    There will come a time when you will be able to see your ex, and the pain will be gone but you MUST go through the grieving process.

  7. #6
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    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    3

    just when it seems there is no light at the end of the...?

    I read your posting. My heart goes out to you in the biggest way. I, too, am experiencing the loss of what I consider to be the best thing that ever happened to me. My partner and I were together for a year and half. Unfortunately, we moved in together at the wrong time. My Dad died a year ago, and we allowed ourselves to somewhat justify our speediness in living together a secondary life move to my father's unexpected death at age of 57. Me, being 33, did not know exactly what to expect when faced with loosing a parent at this point in my life. I thought I had plenty of time to worry bout that much later in life. I should have known that to start a relationship coupled by my father's death would be too much for the both of us. What I can tell you is that with sometime, the smiles, memories, and foundness the two of you had for one another will find its' way back to you and for your acknowledgment. The most rewarding feeling inside is going to be for you to have the opportuity to rekindle, but you're likely to decline the proposition.

    You see, relationships are built forever. People want to believe that a break up can be a complete split up of two peoples love and respect for the self and other. I feel, however, that the two remain as they were it is just that we take on different roles in the relationship. Similar to the movies, you may have been the husband during such, and such dates but, now you are lead character/role of a ____? to this person.

    I hope this helps some, I know what lonely nights in bed alone with the smell of him next to you is a pain that is so, so deep. My tears are freely flowing just being with you during this time. To smile and think about how beautiful it is to have and be able to have these feelings should never cause of to forget the beauty in just that and that alone. Cheers, my friend. Keep in touch.


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