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Thread: I need some input

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002

    I need some input

    I am a 31 year old woman who has been in an intense relationship with another woman for 3 years... When I met her she was and still is married to a man and was pregnant.. She has since given birth and I have been there every step of the way...

    Within the first few months of our relationship she came out to her husband and told him that she had a girlfriend, which was me. Needless to say we were not shocked when he revealed that he was also gay and has been hiding it for years.

    The both of them are in the closet when it comes to friends and family, hence me going back into the closet in order not to reveal the secret. Everyone thinks we are the best of friends.

    I was able to control of my emotions for a long period of time all the while accepting the fact that for now we will not be able to be together in a conventional relationship. However, I am and have been feeling really lonely and she seems to have changed... Not only have I found out that she was intimate with her husband again, but now she has and continues to meet other women on line... (she says as friends only) but this is tearing me apart. She tells me she loves me and wants to be with me but her actions tell me otherwise. She tells me that since she has not been out and cant go to bars to meet friends, she needs to utilize the world wide web to do this. She actually went to another state to meet a woman she met on line....

    I forgave her because she told me that what happened btween them (her and her husband) was nothing and that she had to do it to prove something to herself. She was never going to tell me and right after that she sprung on me that she needed space. We are back together, but it just seems like it is a matter of time before we end up leaving each other for good.

    I love her and her child very much and I am completely loss without her but I am also going crazy not knowing what I should do. I know the the ultimate decision is up to me, but I need to know what the people out there think about my situation and I need to know if I am alone.

    Please help Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    NE USA

    I can relate

    I can REALLY REALLY relate to your story! I'm in a similar mess. I'm in a rural community and there is little to do but wait it out.....not sure what other options there are. I spend most of my time feeling pretty angry and ripped off. Do you? That alternates with wanting to be "with" her. UGH! Maybe we can help each other through this...idunno.

    I guess we each have to find a way to cope with the feelings, then decide and move on (in whatever direction)! If its breaking up, that reallysucks! If its getting back together...jeez, under what conditions? There is no good answer. It makes me want to enact a new law against the "intermarriage" of hetero and lesbian women!!!!

    Take Care


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