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Thread: Help! Help! Help! Somebody please answer this!

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    3

    Help! Help! Help! Somebody please answer this!

    I have been married for 6 years. I have known this guy for 10 years total including the marriage. I find myself attracted to other women. I think about it all the time. It's like some women give me this feeling when I see them and guys don't. I have lost interest in the bedroom with my husband. I have told him this and been going to counseling trying to find myself. I do not want to hurt him, but I don't want to be in a relationship that isn't true. I think I have always thought these things, but never acted upon them. I just don't want to ruin something and look back and say I should have stayed. The love for him as a person is there, but nothing else. I just want to do the right thing and be happy again. I don't think I am bi because I do not look at other guys that way at all. Any suggestions. I feel like damn if I do and damn if I don't. I have been told I am the only one who can make the decision.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    NEW YORK
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    4
    ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE HARD YOU HAVE TO DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SPEND IT TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE ELSE. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU THAN HE WILL NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU ARE UNHAPPY IN.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    NE USA
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    3
    Hi There!
    I think your curiosity is great, but want to give you some warnings. I have been a lesbian since I was 10....knew about it at least, just didn't know what to do about it till in my teens. Starting from where you are, in a marriage to a man, don't expect the lesbian community to embrace you with open arms. I'm not saying this to be mean to you, just to let you know the reality of it...and why. Mostly lesbians are suspicious of what they view as "hetero" women coming in and wanting to experiment with their sexuality. Its a pretty touchy topic. I have been personally touched by this when I was involved with a woman exiting her marriage (so she thought) to become a lesbian. I was caught in the middle with a broken heart while she was "finding" herself...and ultimately went back to her marriage. I was never #1 in her life, but yet she had a great deal of fun with me learning about her newfound sexuality. It hurt for months!

    What I tell bi-curious women (folks like you who are still in hetero relationships and beginning to experiment with women) is to please fine OTHER bi-curious women that don't develop as much an attachment to them. They can have fun sex together and everyone comes out fine. Also, both understand the commitment to their lover's male partner. Often with "real" lesbians there are alot of hard feelings about the woman sleeping with her male partner. Am I making any sense here?

    Once you decide to leave your hetero relationship (if you decide to) you will be in a better position to go into the lesbian community and seek a long-term partner. You will be viewed as more serious about your sexual intentions rather than just a thrill seeker.

    Hope that helps. Whatever you do to follow your heart, remember that you are still accountable to the other people you touch with your behavior. "Free love" isn't exactly free...if you get what I maen.

    Good Luck
    Pitbow


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