Girlfriend left me after 9 1/2 years :(

Hi,

I am really heartbroken now. I had a girlfriend with whom i had been going out for around 9 yrs. We had a very nice relationship all these years. When i started saying her that we shud get married then she started telling me she needs time. This was mainly because her parents were not accepting our relationship becoz we were from different religons.

Lately she started saying she needed space to live and we used to get into lots of arguments. One fine saturday we had nice fun together and the very next day on sunday she said she wants to meet her friends. She went out and after that she stopped calling me. I tried to call ehr but she would not speak and she started saying she has ended this relationship and now she wants to concentrate on work. She also said she is suffocated and all that stuff.

I started getting feelings that she is with somebody else and the next weekend i went to a place hoping i will find her there, and she was there sitting with a guy. I confronted them and she said they were friends. This guy started making fun of my tears and my Ex also started laughing when he was making fun of me.

She told me to stay away from her life. I was devestated and then i didnt call her up for a week. After a week i called her up just to hear her voice and she said i want to give u everything u have given me and dont call me. I got hurt and angry that instead of feeling gulty she is shouting at me. And i also said i want everything back and bext day we met and i returned her everything and i she gave me everything.

Now i dont know what shud i do. She says i dont have any right in her life. I didn everything for her. We had a pregnancy scare, I left my jobs to be with her because my jobs required to go away from the country. I bought a separate apartment so we can live there after marraige and i tried whatever i can do to c to it that she remains happy with me.

I feel she met this guy on the Sunday she went out with friends and after that she left me. What should i do i am heart broken. I cannot live without her. 9 yrs is a big time to be with somebody. Please help me i really need advice.

Thanx

Hey kid you need to get over her. Why would you want someone who blew you off in the first place, she is obviously a B**** . sorry but thats my opinion. so kid, move on you can't be that ugly that you can't find someone else. Besides you should go out on dates and make her jealous, then maybe she'll realize that she bucked up. Oh yeah and damn 9 years! n e way so find yourself another gurl and move on otherwise you'll be lieing around feeling sorry for yourself. which isn't all that fun. if you need more more help don't hesitate to e-mail me, cuz i have the answers to all your problems, jk i have problems of my own i can't even seem to find solutions for, my e-mail is email removed : ) so see ya buhbye now

You know what, we do have almost the same situation. And I really feel the pain you are suffering right now coz thats what i felt when my girl friend had left me after 9-1/2 years of relationship. At that time, I could not think of a good reason why our relationship should end. I may call that time as the one month hell of my life coz it all happens at a span of a month. And you know what is the reason why we broke up? She said she does not love me anymore.....But the real story is that she had another guy with her. Actually before the we broke-up, she already told me that she needs space and she is busy with her job.

And the only time I learned that she had another guy is when the guy answerd my call early in the morning and telling me that the owner of the phone is his girlfriend. I was so shocked and insisted that its impossible. because we just parted one week ago.....and now she already had a new boyfriend answering the phone early in the morning which implies that the guy is with her....The guy did even mentioned his name and told me that he has been escorting her for more than a month and that she told him that our relationship was already onesided and they were going out and even kissed one another. I bursted with anger and called her on the same day in her office and asked her if the guy is telling the truth, I know she was with the guy when I called that morning. You know what, she even lied and told me its not true and asked me to stop bothering her anymore. Since I know that the guy is just using her, so I asked her if we can talk. But on that day Sept 8, she really is sure to damp me. I even tried to give her the ring I promised to give her after geting a loan actually for our marriage. She told me that day that the guy was just the uncle of his dormmate and not his boyfriend. Me still trusting her, accepted all what she had said .....and knowing that she's out of danger I left and we broke-up peacefully. I went to her family house and told them that we separated for them to know everything.

But no secret remains a secret.....two weeks later, she called me and asked if we could talk. So i answered yes...and you know what? she was asking for forgiveness and wanted to come back to me. She admitted everything that she had a relationship with the guy whom I talked. The bullshit guy even tried to call me but i did not attempt to answer his call.

The saddest part is that she had sex with this guy just the night after we separated that sept 8. and she said that she was very sorry for what she had done.....And what happened next...we were back together...but the pain is still in me..I even want to kill the guy but both of them made that. Now we already got married legally and waiting for the church wedding. But you know the truth.....I already lost my confidence and self respect....You are lucky for having a chance to find a new, real and trusting love. For me, I am still struggling to accept the truth....she says she love me...but what kind of love is that.....and i dont have the courage to say i dont love her anymore...but still i am not sure.....if i dont love her..But everytime I have to say I love you I always have to think first unlike before .but for sure i am still haunted by what she had done.....for nine years how come we had not built a strong relationship. it is almost a year but at present im just acting as if nothing happens....Should I be contented that she was my wife....What angie said is correct.....go on with your life.....you still have a chance to have a good relationship.....unlike me.....haunted by the past.....without direction....with uncertain future...