2 strikes. Now what?

I'm in a 3.5 year relationship. I recently was caught trying to set up a rendezvous via the internet while my lover was on a business trip. However the way I was caught has left me with mixed feelings. My partner logged into my e-mail account from where he was and saw the e-mail. I do not have a history of infidelity, this was only my 2nd stray in 3.5 years. My first stray was something that happened early in the relationship when the level of committment in the relationship was questionable. He has "forgiven" that strike. However, this one is hitting us hard.

I ask myself why I went down this road. I'm basically happy, I just stumbled upon an intrigueing website and wondered if anyone really has adventures like those posted. So I posted a situation. Well from the time I posted to the time I got an e-mail response, my lover had found out and I didn't go to the rendezvous, so technically "Nothing happened".

But now I have 2 strikes against me, and the trust built up between the first event and this one has all but been flushed down the toilet. And I'm sure my partner, as he is already suspicious, will become even more so. IS it worth rebuilding? Or should I just cut my losses?

I love him, but I have a feeling that the level of suspicion that this event surrounds will only increase making the relationship more tense than fun and satisfying.

Thoughts? anyone?

Thanks.

Hi,

You're absolutely right, the suspicion will only increase.

But ask yourself this- "Why would you do it if you were happy?" It's obvious something is missing here. Granted you may still love this guy but it seems like to me, you're looking for more. I'm not sure what that is but really ask yourself if you're happy. You can't be if this is the second time in only 3.5 years of your relationship.

If you really love him, then talk to him. Tell him you would like to make an attempt (again) at trying to make it work and that you truly are sorry (if you really are)!

Hope that helps!

Kelly

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