Is my friend gay?

I'm a 25 yr old gay man and i have a very close friend (he's 22) that I've known for about 5 yrs. He has always presented himself as straight since I've known him and I've always been open with him about my sexuality. About 3 yrs. ago he initiated sex with me one night which made my feelings for him more romantic. This continued to happen every few months since then, but there was always a problem after we did this. He was always very passionate about making love but the day after he would get very cold toward me and withdraw. If I questioned him about it he would say nothing was wrong. Then he would make extra effort to show me and other friends how straight he was. He recently joined the National Guard so he could maintain his tough guy image. He has told me that he has very deep feelings for me and has always questioned his own sexuality, thinking he might be gay. But 90% of the time he maintains a very straight image of himself. Anyway, this has really put a strain on our friendship, since I feel in love with him and i'm not really sure what he feels or if he is truly straight and just using me to experiment? I've tried talking this out with him but he's real reluctant to discuss it at all. So i'm frustrated and am wondering where to go from here?

You can't force him out of the closet. Many of us had gay experiences in our teens or early 20's but were unable to come to terms with them until our late 20's or even later. I myself was a "Late bloomer", came out when I was 28.

My advice is to go ahead and seek out other relationships with those men who are as comfortable with their sexuality as you are with yours. If your friend is gay, when he comes "out" and can handle who he really is, maybe you two will find each other and become partners.

But why put your life on hold while someone else is struggling with their sexuality?

Still be a good friend to your buddy, but let him figure things out on his own time.

Take care.

maybe hes very confused on what he's doing or what he wants to do. I think you should give him time. When he ignores you. maybe hes thinking weather he should do it more or should he just stop. You need to talk to him about things. sit him down and talk and tell him that his decision will NOT break up your friendship between eachother. If he doesnt want to talk, respect that... his desicion shouldnt bring you guys father apart.