almost 14 and pregnant

I am about to turn 14 yrs of age this december and i am pregnant. I cry every night because i think i need to abort it. I dont know how to tell my parents this. I really want to have this baby because i know I will take care of it and also it wont interfere with my future because i really look up to that and i think as a mother..i have to do this. But my boyfriend says i should abort it because my parents are going to go crazy. How can i tell my parents this? Someone please Help me. Im in desperate need of help.

hi there,

what does your heart say? that baby is inside YOU thereforeeeeeee you have full responsabilty over what happens to it its yours choice if you want to keep it or not nobody else's most parents will get mad at first but they learn to get over it and help you look after the baby think long and hard what you want to do i know this isnt an easy descison to make but it'll soon become obvious that your pregnant so you need to choose.

well i was talking to my mom about wqhat would she do if i was pregnant and she said it is my responsibilty what i have to do whit that baby. I am so scared to tell her i really am. I really want to have it. But what about school i want to become someone in the future. What do you think i should do with my baby?

hi there,

your mother seems alright with it confront her with this, if you tell her then she'll give you some support and help you through this time about school you may have to get a childminder or see if your mum or a trusted friend/family member can look after it.

I want to thank you so much for giving me advice but anyways i am still scared to tell her about this. What about my dad. My dad never gave me love. We hardly talk But i know he will go crazzy if he finds out. What about if i get kicked out. By tomorrow i defitnetly know what i am going to do. I really Want my Baby i dont want to abort it because i feel like i am murdering someone and that someone is so innocent.

hi there,

your ever so welcome hun if you want to talk more add me or email me at email removed.

im sure you won't kicked out im sure if your mum loves you to bits she won't kick you out, and if your dad doesnt talk, seems like he dont care about anything im sure he isnt going to change over this just relax it'll all turn out fine *hugz*

Dear one,

You have to realize that you are not at a very good decision making period of your life right now, and yet the decisions you make still affect the rest of your life. Keeping that child won't benefit you, your boyfriend (whom you shuld dump immediately), nor the child you possibly but not certainly have in you ( you have to ask a doctor ).

I tell you this from the bottom of my heart. Whatever you think you are getting into by having a child at your age ... IT IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. Don't do it. You will be much happier down the road when you have gone to college, found a real husband who can support you and a FUTURE child the way it is supposed to happen, etc.

Do NOT abort your future -- your future child, husband, social life, college life, business life, etc. You have a right to grow up, learn, and be who you can be in the future.

You cannot face this alone. Get your mother and father informed so they can help you asses the situation.

One more thing dear one. Your mom and dad won't be around forever. You only have a short period of time in your life to make it like you want it to be. I would take that option now and save the child bearing years for later in life.

Sorry to hear your troubles.

Not everyone will agree with what I said here. But, I don't need everyone to agree with me. And neither do you.

hi there,

yes too right not everyone will agree with you, your ment to be advising her not making the decision for her telling her she shud dump her boyfriend and she shudnt have the baby when u advise someone u suggest not demand

Sure my message was a little bit forceful, but I didn't want to send her mixed signals on the subject. I thought that would be an even greater crime.

She should not be having sex with her boyfriend at her age.

If this is a temptation, then she should get rid of him.

Hope that clarifies that part of my message.

Also,

Its your right to have as many children as you can support (under any condition including poverty and deprivation).

I am sure you will grow into the experience whatever you choose it will be. That much can be counted on.

Cheers

If you are considering abortion, DON'T. You have no idea what they do to you and your baby. If you choose abortion then that could prevent you from having baby's when you are ready. Plus you will feel guilty the rest of your life. So please don't do it. If you really don't want this baby then give it up for adoption. Trust me you will be alot happier and so will your child. Good Luck all of you.

Here's my advice to you...

I know you are very young to be having a child... but you need to what is best for you... What I mean, is that you don't want to terminate the pregnancy and later regret it! That is the worst feeling in the world and the guilt that comes with it is horrible...

I'm sure that your parents will help you through this. As for your future, stay focused no matter what happens! Be the best that you can be for yourself and your child! If you feel that you can't deal with the situation, seek some counseling... There will always be someone who can help you..

i feel you should really tell your parents but have them hear you out on how u feel abt havin the child. and see what goes from there.

I understand your situation all too well. I was in it when I was 16 and I did abort it. It was and still is very hard to think about and I do all the time, but going to my mother was the best thing for me. She was very upset, but she helped. To tell you the truth, it was a good decision..the guy I would have had it with was an arrogant loser and only cared about himself, and I have my whole future....I thought at the time I could handle the responsibility, but now I realize I couldn't...I couldn't even take care of myself, never mind a baby. Now don't get me wrong, I know in my head that it was the right decision for me, but it still hurts. The questions of what if I had kept it and how would my life be now still ring through my head, but I have a good life now. You are only 14 years old. You have so much ahead of you. Make a decsion best for YOU. Send me messages anytime if you need help or have any questions

Hi, I hope by now you have spoken with your mother. If you feel you can't talk to your mom. Is there an aunt or someone else in you life you could turn to? My mother got pregnant with me when she was only 16. It was very hard for her and she wasn't around her parents. She had no one to turn to. Obviously she decided to keep me. My mother and father decided to stay together and raise me. They didn't get married right away. Instead they married later(15 years later). When they knew they really did love each other. It was hard. Really hard she says. But shes glad she did what she did. That was the right thing for her to to. I suggest making up your own mind. Do what's right for you in your situation. I just wanted to tell you that it does work out sometimes. My parents are still together. My mom and I are very close, because the age gap is less. we can relate to eachother better I think. I hope this makes you feel a little better. Colleen

hi, i just read ur thing and i got pregnant with my baby when i was 14 yrs old and had her when i was 15, me and my mom really never got along and me and my dad were always fighting.it was hard telling my parents because they had so much planed for me in the future, but i finally told them when i was 2 months pregnant and they stood behind me the whole way. me and my dad got along and so did me and my mom. at first they were mad. they couldnt even look at me.and all i wanted to do was die. the father of my baby told me to get an abortion. i think it was because he would have to grow up and be a man. but i didnt. i went through with it. i had my baby and i'm still in school.my babies father isnt in her life, but i had a feeling that was gonna happen. but i'm doing it. there's programs out there that will help you with day care when ur in school, because the government wants ppl to finish school. so there's hope and you can still do stuff with ur life.just dont give up hope. and when things get hard all i have to do is look at my daughter who is now 8 months old and i just light up.i now found a guy that loves my baby like his own and i moved in with him and after i get out of college we're getting married.so dont give up hope. i never did and i'm doing a good job, well i like to think so....hope i helped you some how..alicia

I don't know if you believe in GOD or not...but I do not think that any one comes down here for no reason.....we all have a purpose.

I do not agree with the BOB said at all...and that is fine we are all entitled to our own opinons.

If you want to stay with your boy friend now then stay with him..If you want to be having sex then that is your choice really there is nothing any one can really do to stop you from doing that. Just make sure you think about what you are doing every little choice you make changes some thing else.

If you are going to be having sex use birth control...talk to your Mom about it if you want some thing more then condom ( which do break some times).

AS far as keeping your Baby My husband and I have been trying to have a baby and we can't. Adoptting is a hard and long prossess with out knowing some one who would give up their baby.

I have an Aunt who also is having issues with having a child there are really alot of people who would love to be parents and for what ever reason can't. Some times known others unexplained.

God designed Women to bear children it is what makes us so different from men it is our right and gift really. THink about it also there is some one inside you growing and souly depending on you to a make it through.

Life is scary at times and 14 years old is very young. But love knows no age I am confident that you can and will love this child more then any one else could. Even if it means loving it enough to give it up.

Adoption does not have to be a clossed thing really you can do an open ended adoption ( what my husband and I are looking into) it allsow you the chance to get to know the parents well you even pick them out. You'll be able to see the baby grow that way. You and the people you give the child to work everything out.

The difference is they raise the child and provide perhaps what at this time in your life you can not. but your child grows up knowing who you are were you came from. Getting to see your parents and your family too. Perhaps even the father. you still get to be in his or her life not perhaps as you would want but some thing close.

How much you see the child and how involved you are depends really it is something you work out with the people looking to adopt, my husband and I hope one day to find some one who wants to be really involved we want a child to us though were he or her comes from does not matter....ours by blood or not makes no difference.

to me it is great when birth parents want to be a part of their kids lives.

Open adoption is a good choice for any one even more so young adults like your self. It is healtheir for every one in the long run there are a lot of study on it.

No matter what you do the choice is yours and I am no one to judge you. I ask that you would not kill some thing so percious and innocent as your own child.

If all you do if carry the child to full term give birht and then give it up you have done more then a lot. You allowed that child a chance to grow and be some one to some one else and to dream, and dare to do great things. A chance I believe every one should have. in a way you would have shown a great act of mercy and love.

You should tell your parents soon. You will start to show at some point but the stres you build from not tellng them is not good for you or baby that and you need to do to a doctor for check ups. They are also your Parents as you might one day soon be...there is a lot that goes along with it.

they may be as you hink mad or upset but I think more hurt and worried for the two of you. Your Mother will understand more and faster then your father who I am sorry to say does not seem to care much more any way. I do not know though I am not him and I do not know him.

As for the oy friend i would leave him simply for presuring you into some thing you do not seem to want to do fully. Also no father is better then a bad one.

Good luck my e-mail is email removed

I am here if you need some one

This thread was created 6 years ago.

This thread was created 6 years ago.

yeah, a little late to be giving advice me thinks.

Wow...I wonder if that child is 6 years old now.Strange to think lol

Wow...I wonder if that child is 6 years old now.Strange to think lol

Hahaha, seriously.

lol I just noticed that

it is so old

I went back to look at threads, there were SO MANY 14 and pregnant ones!!!

Closing this since the OP has not signed on since 2002.