Problems

Okay, I've been married to my husband for four years. I love him dearly, little quirks and all. I have my two children and he has his two from our first marriages. We have one son together. In the past few months, my husband has gotten increasingly cranky and difficult. I don't know what the deal is. I don't spend excessive time with my family, just dinner every once in a while and holidays. He has now decided that he doesn't like my mother, my father, my brother, my grandmother. My mom is too opinionated. Yeah, I agree, and I tune her out most of the time, but I love her anyway. He doesn't like her because of that. My dad is very laid back and gets to things whenever he feels like it. He doesn't like him for that. My brother is a single 35 y/o without kids who has always done as he pleases whenever he feels like it. He smokes a lot of dope so his memory isn't worth shit, but he'd give you the shirt off your back if you needed it. But because he's "flaky" he doesn't like him for that. My grandma is a crochety 80 year old lady who has basically always been mean, but oh well. She's that way with everybody. What I'm saying is that this is the same family I've had since we got married, but now he doesn't like them, doesn't want me to take our son anywhere around them, and doesn't want them to come over to our house. I was told today that my grandma "is not allowed here anymore, so don't get any ideas in your head like you did for Mother's Day" I think he's being extremely unreasonable. I know this is long, and there's more to it, but you married folks, how the hell do I deal with this?

It appears to me that your husband hadn't expressed such frustrations in the past simply because he was trying not to be "difficult" and make things work seamlessly. However, all these frustrations of his were probably building up over the past few years, and now he's unable to bottle them inside any longer. I think this is the reasoning behind his "crankiness".

However, do I agree with his approach? - NO. It is his responsibility to accept people as they are and not play "superman" and make them into clones of himself. I'm actually experiencing a similar scenario as we speak, but it comes down to acceptance. Your life with your husband should be dictated by you and your husband... and have no outside interference.

Hope this helps.