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Thread: About to lose her

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002

    About to lose her

    Me and my wife have been marride for 4 years and have 4 beautiful little girls. Our sex life stinks.....I (she)suffer from premature ejaculation.
    I have been to the doctor and have been on prozac and paxil and niether one helped.
    My wife is unwilling to try the masters and johnson method because she says it gets her worked up and doesnt want to get let down again.
    Lately she has met someone online that she wants to hook up with even though she says she still loves me. She just wants to have good sex.
    I am not at all comfortable with this...
    What should I do???

    Please help

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 1978

    You aren't crazy

    Poor guy!

    Well, I would say that all this stress of pleasing your wife, and desire to NOT have the "problem" probably makes the problem worse.

    Your wife is your partner. She should do whatever it takes to help the both of you get through this problem. The fact that she's looking online for another sexual partner is completely unfair and, in my opinion, quite cruel.

    The only way the two of you can get through this problem is to work together. Many MANY couples have gotten through this kind of problem... which I believe mostly stems from anxiety in the relationship.

    Have you been to couple's counseling? It sounds like there are other, deeper, problems in the relationship to work out if your wife is seriously thinking of going outside the marriage to have sex. You might want to be honest with eachother and start sorting out problems outside the bedroom too.

    Good luck. You aren't crazy. ANYONE would be uncomfortable in your situation. Be honest, and realize that if you took vows to be monogomous, then her looking outside the marriage is a clear betrayal. "For better AND worse"... not just when you're having great sex.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003

    Your situation

    Dude, the fact that she would suggest that she needs to go sleep with someone else so she can get better sex is completely COMPLETELY absurd. You have other ways of pleasuring her other than your guy down below.

    I would personally suggest councilling and seeing your doctor/sex therapist as to what you can do for this situation. It is a difficult problem, but if she really cared about you I figure THIS is the kind of thing she would suggest rather than getting sex from elsewhere.

    I don't mean to scare you or make things worse, but the fact she wants to go elsewhere would really disturb me. I think there are very serious issues in her head that need to be worked out. I also think that if you say that her little plan isn't acceptable that she may just go and do it anyway. It seems to me that she is only thinking of her own needs, and isn't taking into consideration of your needs, or how YOU feel about this whole situation. You probably know her better than anyone though, so this is just my outside view. If a girl told ME that, I'd be downright pissed off.

    If you feel like you've almost lost her because of this, then perhaps you should consider if she's the kind of person you want to be with anyhow. To me, she sounds shallow and self-absorbed.

    Sorry for the negative outlook, but I just cannot believe how consumed some people are with their own needs....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    to bad

    if i were you i would learn to do other things to make her happy


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