commitment phobe

I'm a commitment phobe and have been all my life. I've never had a relationship that I didnt cheat on my partner. I have been in a wonderful relationship for the past 3 years, and was proud of myself for having conquered my phobia. Unfortunatley, we moved in together and now have a wedding date. THis has made me completely relapse and I'm desparately seeking ways to get out of it. I'm so confused and feel very trapped. I cant get out of the wedding, b/c I Would disappoint so many people, also, b/c I really thought I wanted it. But as the date gets closer, I feel that I can breathe, and have been considering breaking up with my fiance.

I'm the same way. I have problems commiting to anything more than a few days in advance. when it comes to significant others, however, you have to focus on how much you love them. Every time you feel trapped, just think about what you'd miss about them. If you're getting married, there should be lots about them you like. just focus on the good things...the fun times you've had. now, do you really want to give all that up? is that worth losing? have you tried talking to your Fiance? you shouldn't hide something like this from them. tell them what's going on in your head. if they truly love you, they will be understanding. you can work around it...it's hard, but it can be done. I spend a lot of time every day focusing on all the good things about my girl. just remind yourself constantly why you wanted to get married in the first place. Good luck to you.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I am trying hard to think of good times and I definitely would not want to lose that. He is the most wonderful person I've ever met, and he would do anything in the world for me. I have talked to him about it and have confessed my fears and the claustrophobia that I feel right now. I just cant seem to get back on track, I dont know why I'm doing it, but I'm looking for an apartment so that I can move out "to take some time alone before the wedding". I dont know if this will make things better or worse, all I know is that I feel like I HAVE TO GET OUT. It's so upsetting, b/c I didnt want this to happen again.

Are you in any type of premarital counseling? If not I think you should start it. I'm sure this is something that they have seen before and will be able to help you through.

Good Luck!!