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Thread: I work with my ex

  1. #1
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    May 1978
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    The only truly serious relatioship I ever had ended a few days before last Christmas. He left me to pursue a relationship with an old flame who broke his heart years ago. We had dated for several months but were very passionate for pretty much the entire relationship. It was one of those "wow", "zing", fireworks, and bells kind of attractions. (One thing that we loved talking about was how amazing our initial attraction was, so I know I'm not the only one who felt something.) He was truly an amazing friend, an awesome lover and just a nice guy. I think I'm still in love with him. This is a problem now that we are no longer together...
    We work together. We had one of those office romances. Our office is so small that it's impossible to not talk to him. I am not quitting, either. I am able to control myself reasonably well in front of my coworkers, including him(it has been 3 months since we separated).Sometimes I still have to cry, though. Usually I cry at home, but the other day I did it at work. My question is how do I cope with being around someone every day who broke my heart? How do I make that step to be friends? How do I stop caring?

  2. #2
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    May 1978
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    379

    after the office romance ends

    What's the point in being friends? You got to know him very well. And for him to pull that stunt on you, that shows poor decision-making on his part. Would you want as a friend an ex-boyfriend who has poor decision-making skills in the area of relationships? You don't! Move on. You are the healthy one here. How do you stop caring? Well, that takes time. But devote your attention to yourself and your needs...because he isn't devoting his attention to you. Peace.

  3. #3
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    Dec 2002
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    2

    don't be friends

    Try to move on there. I had a similar situation as I was going to medical school with my ex. Tried very hard to "be friends". You'll only hurt yourself more like that. Move on, be mad at him, he doesn't deserve your friendship, so don't give it to him. He's the one that broke your heart, so you need to do what's right for you. And trying to be friends when you're still hung up on him is not what is right for you, trust me. You need to move on get over these feelings, and then you'll find that you won't much care whether you're friends or not. good luck

  4. #4
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    Dec 2002
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    1

    Let it go and move on.

    I am a male going through the exact thing myself at this moment. I just split with a woman and co-worker who I was with for over a year. She is now seeing another guy from the same place. So we all work together. I was truly in love with her and she broke my heart. Since we were frinds before we dated, I tried the "friend" thing with her after we split but as you know, that does not work. I found just moving on and basically letting her go worked the best for me. I oost a good friend abd I know it's a very hard step to make. Honestly there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her but you will never heal if you try to hang on to any aspect of the realtionship even the friendship part. good luck.

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