Goat Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I’m a freshman in college and I am five hours from my hometown. I had the same girlfriend since my junior year in Highschool. She still lives in my home town. While I was at college I met someone else. I broke up with my long time girlfriend about a month ago now and now I don’t know which one to choose. I’m not yet in a relationship with the new girl I met but we have both expressed interest in each other and have made plans on starting a relationship when I get back from winter break. And my now ex girlfriend sill has immense feelings for me and would get back together if she got the chance, and honestly I feel the same way. Now that I am back home for winter break I’m right down the road from my ex and five hours away from the other one. A big part of this is the distance. I have history with my ex and there are things I like about her more than the other one. But on the other hand the new girl has traits I like more but I do not know what a relationship with her would be like. My ex has fewer qualities that I can share than the new one but we have been through so much together. All in all my question is: should I go back to the familiar and break the new one’s heart, or see what happens with the new girl and break the old girl’s heart? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Don't play the on site girl vs distance girl game. You may get away with it, but sooner or later they'll figure out you're playing the "girl-in-every-port" game. Link to comment
Clio Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 You cannot handle long distance so the reason for breaking up is still there. If you were to get back with your ex you would end up breaking up again due to the distance once you get back to college. So do her a favor and don't get back with her. It's that simple. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 All in all my question is: should I go back to the familiar and break the new one’s heart, or see what happens with the new girl and break the old girl’s heart? LOL, you phrase this like you'd be doing either girl a favor by being with them. Saving their poor little hearts. Oh brother. What's really happening is: you dislike being inconvenienced for even a month by long distance, and are actually 100% out for yourself and your own comfort. If you truly want to do either of them a favor, get real. Leave them both alone and get yourself together before you start dating again. It's not nice to take advantage of other people to make yourself feel better. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Terrible. Hw would you feel if your ex was doing the same to you? Both girls deserve much better than you. You have a lot of growing up to do. So selfish. Link to comment
Lambert Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I completely agree with Jilbrata and Hollyj. Come on, man... break the new girl's heart? That's a bit of a stretch. But the real damage and cruelness is to your ex-gf. You're gonna jerk her around. you're in, you're out, you love her, but there's someone else. And this is a person you claim to care about. Think about someone other than yourself. Just because you "can" doesn't mean you should. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Here's what you do: Tell home town girl you want her to be your girlfriend whenever you're home for a holiday break and during the summer. Tell college girl you want her to be your girlfriend when you're at school. Tell them both they are not to cry or beg or otherwise interfere with your enjoyment during your time with the other girlfriend. That way you can be assured of having a convenient girlfriend at all times so you'll never have to go without. I hope you can see the sarcasm. Seriously, do not have a girlfriend at all until you can get it together. Date casually. And please let the hometown girl go. You don't love her. Let her find someone who does. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 This could very well end with both of them making the choice for you. Keep in mind, that it usually comes back to bite you in one way or another. In short, you simply can' find happiness in someone else's pain. Hopefully you make the right choices. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I agree with all the posters above. They covered it pretty well. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Well basically to me it sounds like you really have that "out of sight, out of mind" mentality about relationships. You became interested in the new girl because you couldn't physically be with your ex-girlfriend. Now you're just down the road from your ex and it's convenient, so you're thinking of getting back together with her. That's not how relationships work. So when you get back to college, you'll switch to the new girl just because she's actually there? To be honest it doesn't sound to me like you're into either of them that much. Sounds like you lost feelings for your ex because you wanted to date someone else. But doesn't sound like you're that interested in the new girl either. Now that you're away from her, you're not even sure if you want her. I'd suggest not pursuing either of them because you're being very flakey and you're probably only going to hurt them both. Link to comment
waffle Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 Women are not commodities to be "chosen." I agree with the others, let them both go and work on yourself. Link to comment
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