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Thread: I feel like there is still hope with my relationship with him?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I know this is difficult for you, but I think this break up is a huge blessing in disguise.

  2. #12
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    This guy has said that he does not see a future with you, and you need to listen. He is making up silly excuses as to why does not want a commitment, but was cool to have contact and sex.

    He is not a nice guy, and he is not a friend . Let this go and go no contact.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Spend more time on you. The more time you start putting into yourself and where you're headed the less you'll be worried about others not going in the same direction as you. He's not following or not joining you. A break in communication is best after break ups. Keeping in touch is no good.

    The more distance you put between yourself and this person the greater your opportunities will open up. It doesn't mean you stop thinking about him or caring. That's all involuntary and part of the healing process but you'll have to realize that he's just not your person. Set some healthy boundaries and get out of this rut. You owe it to yourself.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    He said that he feels its the best decision for us to end things due to our age gap and our differences, he claims we're very different people. I personally do not see this as I feel like we share the same values, we're compatible in a lot of areas etc.

    There don't seem to be any normal dealbreakers to make this relationship horrendous for him. Therefore, he's clearly just not that into you. Up to this point in time and likely to continue for a while, he seems to be the type of person who is more comfortable with short term relationships, and when the woman pushes to move to the next stage, he's unwilling so he bails.

    He loves the fact that you're Miss Suzy Sunshine with him, and there's no drama with the breakup aftermath. He'll gladly go along with that until he meets another woman. And then he'll be ready to start ignoring the fishing line you're throwing out. That fish will stop taking the bait.

    How about if you were making your own decisions in your own best interests? Isn't that better than leaving your fate to anybody else on the planet--especially one who doesn't care enough to be your one and only?

    Closure can only be attained with no contact so you can mourn and then heal. Don't hope for an ex to reconcile, especially one as high risk as he is with his trait of never having romantically loved anyone by his age. When you get some time and distance away from Mr. Wrong, you'll probably shake your head at why you stayed so long. Tell him you're going no contact for your own good and wish him well. And then block and delete. You'll thank yourself when you're free to meet someone who is crazy about you.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You had your judgement clouded by how well you two got along and missed out on some red flags. I don't believe half the stuff you say he is....if he was "traditional" he would have asked you proper to be his GF and formally introduced you to his parents and friends. The other crap about over analyzing, that would be very evident immediately and give you complete grief from the start...I swear people just use excuses like that to be convincing so they can have a reason to excuse their naturally crappy behavior.And just to be a total jerk about it, he flings it back in your face that you "should have known" you were BF/GF....that's called gaslighting. The jig is up, and hes making his escape. He claims you two are just too different, something that would have been evident after a few dates, not after 8/9 months. He's just pulling that stuff out of his a$$. And you are right, I myself wouldn't see his anime/fiction book reading be something of a compatibility issue. More gaslighting. Block/delete, move on and don't look back.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    I agree with Holly.

    "He is not a nice guy, and he is not a friend . Let this go and go no contact."

    And what Smackie said. Every word.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You've been trying to convince yourself you're OK with something you're not OK with. That is no way to be happy in a relationship.

    I think it would be better to find a man who actually does want what you want and who does want you to be his girlfriend/potential future wife rather than trying to pretend what this man offers is what you want.

  9. #18
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    I hope you're ok Dusty ...... I admire anyone who can come on a forum and have everyone say their relationship is not going to happen . When I joined I never told my story at all , I just kind of slotted in . I couldn't have handled the raw truth at the time . So that said ...hope you are ok x

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