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Thread: Was I a rebound?

  1. #1

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    Was I a rebound?

    My best friend and I (both Girls) broke up after a 4month relationship.
    She her self before we met was in a stable relationship with a guy of 4 years.
    But from the day we met each other, we felt a connection. As we were friends, we said the same things at the same time, and had the same humor, we had the same special interests and we were meeting each other randomly. everything seemed so aligned.

    Our friends could feel the tension

    She liked me and I liked her. She was the most kind hearted beautiful girl i had ever encounter

    There were some problems in her relationship because she always told me that she felt like she isn't with him anymore. Something was happening constantly between them...despite the fact she was always decent

    After a while she confessed to me and she literally dumped the guy... with out a second thought... With out healing... But I dismissed that I thought she was already over him.

    Specifically she told me that "I'll be feeling free with you and I'll take the risk to leave a caring and stable relationship" as I had "won her mentally from the very beginning" no one knew her as much as I do

    The first month was heavenly, and the second,
    She was trying to persuade me to live together after getting a job, to never let go each other arms, moreover she was afraid that I'd leave her, as I was younger. She bought mindful gifts... Everything was so real...so much passion. She wanted me to take our rl seriously and so I did

    Plus she was reminding me everyday how she can't concentrate on her studies because I was always in her mind.

    We had seggs it was my first time showing my body to someone...but she didn't proceed to take my virginity we just gave pleasure


    The last month (which was one week after the seggs) something was kinda off. nothing wrong with us or me... It was the guy.. she missed the routine...the trips... But she had also the stress of finding a job. She was eating her.


    We broke up through text, telling me that she can't do it, it's unfair for me because I try so much, but I made her happy everyday.

    She confessed to my friend that... Maybe it was a tender excitement but also maybe not...maybe I was just a crush...



    All that confusion was due to the fact that she was numb, something was blocking her from loving.


    I mean she never healed from the guy...

    But something extra she said was "if we had gotten closer it would be a nice relationship"

    Atm she isn't hurting for me... But

    I definitely wanted to build a future with her... We shared our souls, we know each other keys...

    She said that she'll need the minimum six months to love someone again.

    But we all know that it's gonna be the guy...in the end...

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    She was effectively cheating on her bf emotionally with you. That's worse than just being a rebound.

    Beware of those who monkey branch from one relationship to the next (and I'm being kind here, because in my eye she is a cheater) and never drink the cool aid that their existing relationship is "bad". You are learning the hard way why.

    You got caught up in the whirlwind romance and lust, but....unfortunately that rarely has any genuine foundation to last. A bit like building a house on quicksand because you got enamored with the ocean view and forgot to look at what it is you are building on. Genuine connection takes time to establish. It's not such a whirlwind....and less romantic but more enduring.

    Since you mention that you are a virgin, I'm assuming that you don't have a lot of relationship/dating experience. This is one of those learning moments about what to beware of - hot and fast and not done with their past.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    All you need to do is keep your distance from her.

    She's not adding to your life and she wasn't ready to either. It was a whirlwind and shortlived romance, nothing more. Don't hang on to this or remain bitter about it's "gonna be the guy" who gets her in the end.

  4. #4
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    She confessed to my friend that... Maybe it was a tender excitement but also maybe not...maybe I was just a crush...
    It sounds like she was maybe bi curious and wanted to test the waters , try something new .

    Don't wait around 6 months just to see who she chooses ..honestly my darling you are worth more then that ...you both had a little romance and sadly that is over and I am sorry , but just hold your head up high and move forward with your life .

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  6. #5
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    What is "seggs?"

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Every relationship is a leap of faith and you can't count on the honeymoon stage to predict what will happen when that ends. Many new relationships end at exactly that time frame, between 3 and 4 months, because after that is when things move into a more realistic stage. And when the person doesn't want to put in the daily effort it takes to move into a more serious relationship, that's when they bail.

    It's wise to learn to recognize red flags and cut loose people from the beginning if you see dealbreakers. If you don't see any, just take a wait and see attitude, and time will reveal all, just as its done here.

    You can't go back to being friends now that you've crossed this boundary, so it's time for closure. I'd go no communication and tell your friends you don't want updates of the ex. You'll heal far more quickly that way. Take care.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I'm gonna go with bi curious and confused. I would just back off. Maybe down the road she will make up her mind what she truly wants. It could go either way....I have a feeling this ain't over yet.

  9. 11-21-2020, 12:54 PM

  10. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Was I a rebound?
    You can look up 'rebound' on the Internet and decide for yourself, along with whether that definition helps you or misses the point.

    If someone is willing to dump a current lover to take up with me? That shows me that they're disloyal, so I wouldn't want anything to do with them.


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