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Thread: Why would your partner say this....?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I am swinging my circle skirt around my head as we speak lol
    Bwahahaha, I have no doubt about that, lol. x

  2. #12
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Pretty simple really. She was using that particular situation to complement herself. If she had told him "In school all the guys wanted to bang me" it would have sounded pretty bad but the way she put it sounds like a complement...well I guess some would think it is a complement.

    Look at it this way. Big deal, a bunch of horny teenage boys wanted to bang some girl they go to school with. Have you met a teenage boy??? They all want to bang SOMETHING!!!

    It was in poor taste and she was possibly fishing for a reaction or complement but either way he should just let it go. If this type of thing happens again like she shares how a coworker wants to bang her or this or that guy wants her then he should reconsider dating her.

    Kind of sounds like she enjoys being the center of attention.

    Lost

    PS Just read your other threads and it looks like you got some really good advice, maybe not what you wanted to hear but solid advice from most replies.

  3. 11-20-2020, 12:54 PM

  4. #13
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    There both in there mid 30's by the way. I've since spoke more and he's told me a bit more about it. Not only has she said this to him, but also claims that lads she went to school with in her year, who are now married where messaging her asking her out for dates, now I said to him ok this doesn't seem right to me, again why is she saying this to you?think about it. It certainly seems that she is insecure, has a high opinion of herself and that she wants him to validate her, and as you say, wants her to feel grateful he has her as she in her eyes has a choice of any man.
    I could accept this if they where teenagers but the girl he is seeing is mid 30's with kids.

  5. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sounds like an insecure bored single mom who is living in the past.
    Originally Posted by DannyM87
    the girl he is seeing is mid 30's with kids.

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  7. #15
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    She is looking for some sort of validation. Not healthy for sure.

    The fact that she is in a relationship and is not shutting down these married men trying to once again bang her is the most troubling.

    If I were you I would tell my friend when she brings this stuff up to ask her two simple questions. "What are you getting out of this" and "why are you telling me this"

    Make her explain her motives. I bet it will get really uncomfortable real fast and if it doesn't she is not the one for him.

    Lost

  8. #16
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    Originally Posted by DannyM87
    There both in there mid 30's by the way. I've since spoke more and he's told me a bit more about it. Not only has she said this to him, but also claims that lads she went to school with in her year, who are now married where messaging her asking her out for dates, now I said to him ok this doesn't seem right to me, again why is she saying this to you?think about it. It certainly seems that she is insecure, has a high opinion of herself and that she wants him to validate her, and as you say, wants her to feel grateful he has her as she in her eyes has a choice of any man.
    I could accept this if they where teenagers but the girl he is seeing is mid 30's with kids.
    Well if he really wants advice .
    My advice is for him to tell her she is being hugely inappropriate and if she wants to reminisce to join the school facebook page .
    It all yells insecurity to me and that is not nice for her really ....to need to big herself up . Sadly I have seen both men and women use this kind of language to get their partners to show insecurity and jealousy ...it makes them feel wanted , validated and desired . It may be all she is used to , who knows what kind of life she has had ... For some the simple action of been with a person isn't validation enough and they need more of a display to prove how much they are wanted . It is sad really . However it isn't up to your friend to enable her or feed this .....tell him to tell her straight this is talk that should just be kept to her and her girlfriends .

  9. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't think it matters. If it's a turn off to your friend, he knows what to do. Start distancing himself or end the charade of being in a relationship. Stupid comments don't necessarily warrant any response. He is not her shrink either so churning all of this over and over in his mind is an exercise in futility. Like will attract like. If he's attracting these types of women, he might want to check himself and see whether he's a magnet for insecure and shallow.

    That's all he needs to do at this point, reflect on himself and move forwards. He doesn't need to keep associating with people he doesn't see eye to eye with.

  10. #18
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    My ex was the opposite. He wanted me MORE if he thought other guys wanted me. But he's an immature buffoon, so there is that.

  11. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Oh, geez! If I had heard that come from a HIGH SCHOOL reunion? You bet I'd share that with my partner, and we'd both have a chuckle.

    It's high school--so it's high school stuff. If I were with a partner who'd take that so seriously that he'd complain to a friend about it? I'd want to know about that, because he certainly wouldn't be the secure and confident grown adult I'd come to know well enough to love.

    However, if this were a new relationship, and the guy I'm dating wasn't exactly my 'partner' yet? I'd still enjoy a good chuckle, and I'd keep it to myself.

    Bottom line: it depends on where this guy is with this woman. She either has faith in him to enjoy the joke, or she's sprung it on him prematurely, and she has lousy judgment.

    He gets to pick.

  12. #20
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Going with the original post, did you consider that the girl was shocked that any of the guys thought that way about her? Teen girls often think they are not attractive and she may have felt that way too. If any guy had said that about me I'd have been completely shocked. You are too judgmental.

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