Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 50

Thread: Female 45 / Male 23

  1. #1
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    45
    Posts
    2,177
    Gender
    Female

    Female 45 / Male 23

    I am a 45 year old woman professional and in great shape. I recently met a 23 year old male at a restaurant that I frequent (he works there) and he has been pursuing me. At first I was bit freaked about the age difference, but now find him quite attractive.

    Im really out of the dating game, but want to check this guy out. My last relationship was with a man, similar to my age who is gay and has never come out.

    Im looking to have some fun and enjoy life while you can in these crazy Covid times. I find engaging with this man a little odd. Is this what 23 year old do? FaceTime for sex and play peek a boo show me whatís under your skirt? Heís a nice enough guy has manners ie hold door open, gives tons of compliments. But is the FaceTime foreplay normal? the guy works very hard, at one restaurant in the day and another one at night, 7 day a week, so most of our communications are on FaceTime.

    He also gets very flirty on the calls. Could someone please tell me if this is normal behavior for a 23 year old. Seems he want suggestive photos as well. Is this normal for Gen Z??? They also canít really commit to plans or are shy about making them.

    Someone please educated me in the new normal. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    7,220
    I'm just asking and not trying to be offensive, but we are close in age and I have a son close to this guys age....wouldn't you feel like a mother figure to him? I mean, he could literally be your kid.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,951
    Speaking for myself only, it would feel like I'm dating someone who just left high school, lol. Like SherrySher says above - it would feel like I'm his mother. I couldn't do it even if you paid me. As for sending him suggestive photos ..... hell NO! I would imagine the first thing he would do is share them with all of his friends.

    OP, you're a mature adult woman. No-one can tell you what's right or wrong. Go by your own morals and values etc etc.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    7,220
    hell NO! I would imagine the first thing he would do is share them with all of his friends.
    Yes, for sure.

    And the facetime warm up for sex? No only does that scream immature but if he was a grown man, there's no way he would be engaging in this type of thing. He'd be too busy doing something like making you dinner and inviting you over to his home for a cozy night in.

    The fact that you're asking if this is normal for Gen Z, should tip you off on how disconnected you and he really are.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,916
    Sexting and trying to engage you in some naughty FaceTime sessions is not unusual for young, horny guys, no. (Though to be fair, I know men plenty older than him who do it, too)

    Him not wanting to commit to plans isn't because he's 23. It's because he doesn't want to actually date you, he just wants to have some fun. Young folks have no problem making plans and sticking to them when they really want to see someone.

    If you're looking for a more mature, serious dating experience - this isn't your guy.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,749
    Gender
    Female
    FaceTime and photos can be recorded and shown around. Some people do it but it's asking for trouble. Imo, it's never worth the risk. Don't do it. As for "having fun" with someone half your age, again you need to be careful as there are plenty of ways it could backfire e.g. catching feelings and then getting hurt when it ends, being taken advantage financially etc. Based on his behaviour (asking for suggestive photos, not being able to make or commit to plans), he sounds immature and disrespectful i.e. not worth the risk.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,604
    Gender
    Male
    This doesn't seem like an age thing. It seems he doesn't want to date but just wants sexting perhaps to masturbate to.

    Decide for yourself if you want your images posted on the internet or passed around his friends.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    45
    Posts
    2,177
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks for the responses. The last time I dated, either the pool of men were not doing this sort of thing (FaceTime) or technology wasnít quite there. I canít say I'm really looking to date him like I would someone my own age - I would not expect a 23 year old to cook dinner, be a shoulder to cry on after a hard dayís work and/or partake in more mature activities. But what should I do? Be a nun for another 5 years until someone saintly with a universal approval rate comes along? Not going to happen and very hard to do with COVID.

    My last LT relationship was with someone who was not sexual, who was closeted but needed a straight partner for his image. This was unbeknownst to me and a waste of 7 years. That ended a few years ago with no one since then. I donít think it is normal to not have sex, so when this relationship presented itself, I initially thought no way, but am warming-up to the idea. Also, I should mention he initiates calls/hits on me, not the other way around. I am simply on the receiving end. This should reduce the creepiness factor somewhat as he is an adult and can make his own choices and pursue what he wants.

    I agree with the risk of posting things online. He is risking himself much more than I am as far as revealing activities.

    While I totally agree with what has been posted, I have been out of the loop so long that I am totally unversed when it comes to using oneís phone for nefarious activities. Is this foreplay? Is this how people start-off now?

    Anyway, I can shut the whole thing down immediately if I feel its getting creepy/risky, but that will be my call. I was more interested to know if this is is the norm for younger people, especially during the lock-down.....Thanks for your responses in advance.
    Last edited by sadchick83; 11-20-2020 at 07:58 AM.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    45
    Posts
    2,177
    Gender
    Female
    SherrySher, thanks for your response. I donít have children, so no I do not feel like anyones mother.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    5,191
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    I was more interested to know if this is is the norm for younger people, especially during the lock-down.....Thanks for your responses in advance.
    Just from reading the posts on this forum, it does seem to have become somewhat normal. Which is so funny to me.... I mean, I laugh about it with my boyfriend. When the internet really started become what it is today, in the late 90s, we were in our early 20s and this is what we didn't want to happen. It just seemed like the worst thing in the world would be for someone to plaster naked pictures (or compromising video!) of you across the internet.

    I assumed that the next generation--technology "natives"--would be much more savvy about letting this sort of thing get out there, but the opposite seems to be true. They're like lemmings running off of a cliff. It happens so much that it's now become normal to hear about nudes and sexting and whatever else you can do with a 'device.' Pretty soon, nobody will bat an eye at this stuff, at least not in their generation. But our generation will probably continue feel a lot less comfortable about it.

    I really don't think that you, as a 45 year old woman, are going to find this relationship truly satisfying in any way, except for this very weak form of attention that he pays you--which he can then turn around and upload to pornhub if he wants. Is it worth the cost?

Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •