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Thread: Female 45 / Male 23

  1. #41

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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that with the iPhone. I screen shotted a convo with my sister and her son and my sister would have said something if she saw the notification. Her iOS is always up to date because it's her job.
    Iím only speaking from experience, on FaceTime if it is screenshotted it pops up, I donít know why it wouldnít for other people but it has been a feature Iíve noticed for a while now. Whenever Iíve screenshotted my friends have known on the facetime, and vice versa. And I know a few people with an iPhone who see this feature as common knowledge, itís only a feature on FaceTime, and you may have to enable that on settings, but as Iíve said, it hasnít happened a lot to me so Iím not an expert

    Once someone screenshots, it does mean they have your images, but being able to prove someone has done that has some more weight if you wanted to report it. Itís not the best option, but any security is better than nothing.

    If someone knows you are aware they screenshotted, they are more likely than not to just remove the images (unless they are a completely awful person) which would need to be deleted from their photos and from their deleted file Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #42
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    Thank you all for your comments. They have given me perspective and Iím not as flustered with this whole thing as I was earlier today.

    Melancholy, I only sent one blurry photo from a hidden text address, actually cropped my head off so you canít tell its me. He complained the photo was too blurry. I didnít re-send or send another.

    Rose Mosse, I will take your advice not complicate things and not send any more photos, and keep texts basic.

    Wiseman2, I singed up for Match with an unpaid subscription and at the same time (a month or two ago) a work friend, a woman my age and similar looks/backgroud paid for a subscription and she went on a few dates. She went on 2.5 dates with a guy that is now obsessed with her, sending boxes with trinkets and 20-30 love letters a week to her home. She is about to get a restraining order on this guy and has borrowed one of her fatherís guns to protect herself and her daughters as he knows where she lives (remote area) and is now obsessed with her. This has totally frightened me from online dating. I tried Bumble for a trial week as well. The apps are fine, but the quality of men here is not. Again, the average age of my town is in the high 70s and I donít have time to weed out the one normal guy from the bunch.

    Boltnrun/Batya: I agree with trying to be safe. Fortunately, I am in a fully open state, I moved to the South and it is possible to go to open air bars and restaurants and sit spaced a good distance from other people while still being able to talk, so chatting with others is an option. I agree intimacy is a risk. I went out this afternoon to an outdoor bar, just to put in more of an effort to meet people...met a nice 70 year old. I will work on this approach.

    After reading all of your posts, I donít think I will reach out to him, or go back to his restaurant. There was one FaceTime that he was doing something explicit and he actually asked if I screen shot him, which I did not. I flashed him briefly, but given his location, I doubt he had anyone else recording, although apparently you can record FaceTime...something I did not know and was basically my bad.

    Unless he edits himself out of the FaceTime and somehow recorded the split second of me, I guess I'm screwed. I also donít think he would identify me by name and blackmail me by sending whatever he could have to people I know, or put on some random porn site, but I guess anything is possible. If he calls Iíll just be polite and honestly, if I am up for something it will be at my place and I will lock up his phone. Or, maybe I will have lost interest at that point. Seems to be getting messy with really no benefits. I have been taking a lot of Maca powder lately. It has made me a raging, boy crazy machine. This is part of the problem.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Good idea, and good luck!

  4. #44
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    FYI, it is very easy to record FaceTime. I just tried it. Iím screwed if this is all he was after.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm glad you decided to step away. Anytime someone is trying to fast track you into these types of communication or wants photos is a sign their intentions are not good.

  7. #46
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    FYI, it is very easy to record FaceTime. I just tried it. Iím screwed if this is all he was after.
    I doubt it.. take a deep breath, have a good dinner and let this person go. Not worth this much worry from now on. All this is very good of you to face and think through. Continue trusting your instincts and leave this behind.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Is this what 23 year old do? FaceTime for sex and play peek a boo show me whatís under your skirt? Heís a nice enough guy has manners ie hold door open, gives tons of compliments. But is the FaceTime foreplay normal?
    I'd be less concerned about what's normal for someone else, and I'd focus instead on what 'I' want--and operate from there. Then you'll have clarity whenever someone tries to push or pull you off course.

    For instance, age wouldn't be my primary concern--but I also wouldn't try to rationalize something uncomfortable by telling myself that this is what kids do these days. Wul? Do I want to appear cool enough to entertain a kid, or do I want true simpatico with a real man in my life?

    Once I figured out that I'm relationship material, not FWB or 'casual,' that was a good starting point for me to figure out what KIND of relationship. So the candle in the wind stuff was over for me, and I felt grounded and secure and liberated from any ideas of morphing into anything that might be 'normal' for someone else, but just wasn't for me.

    As for dating apps, they can be useful if you use them to set up quick meets over coffee instead of trying to pin down full dates. Less labor. You agree to 20-30 minutes max, and neither can corner the other on the spot by asking for a 'real' date. Either can invite afterward, and if the answer is no, then no response is necessary.

    Setting up a bunch of quick meets for your way home from work is no big deal, and you won't be invested in any given one. You can learn whether someone seeks dating for the same reasons as you, and if not, skip them and move onto the next. You can tell within 5 minutes whether there's potential for chemistry--and usually NOT.

    Once you can grasp the natural odds of most people NOT being a good match, you liberate yourself from working too hard. You've spent a few minutes getting coffee, and you were kind to a stranger for a short while, and nothing is lost, no skin off your back.

    Dating is a needle-in-a-haystack kind of thing. Allow wrong matches to pass early. You'll know true simpatico when you stumble on it, so don't contort yourself for anything less, and you'll thank yourself later.

  9. #48
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    If you just want a casual hook-up, I'm sure this guy would be happy to oblige. If you are thinking he'll be into forming a potential long-term relationship then I think you'll be disappointed. The other year I was pursued by a guy who was literally half my age. He was intelligent and we got on surprisingly well, but when it came to likes/dislikes, it soon became clear just how much we were from different generations (the guy had never heard of INXS!). I think that in his head he loved the idea of getting intimate with an older woman, but when it actually started to go from fantasy to reality, he did a runner. You might find this guy is the same.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you were flattered by the attention of a younger man after the disappointments of your last relationship.

    Your stories about match seem far flung and the average age in NYC is not 70-80.

    When you are ready to date. Get on quality paid dating apps with recent clear photos and a well written profile.

    It seems you are not ready to date or looking for anything serious just yet.

    That's ok . Try Tinder. Very few 70-80 year olds use that app, or most any dating apps.

    The only person you have to be honest with is yourself and the only person you need to make happy is yourself.

  11. #50
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like you were flattered by the attention of a younger man after the disappointments of your last relationship.

    Your stories about match seem far flung and the average age in NYC is not 70-80.

    When you are ready to date. Get on quality paid dating apps with recent clear photos and a well written profile.

    It seems you are not ready to date or looking for anything serious just yet.

    That's ok . Try Tinder. Very few 70-80 year olds use that app, or most any dating apps.

    The only person you have to be honest with is yourself and the only person you need to make happy is yourself.
    Thanks Wiseman, I moved to the South a while ago. I havenít changed my location on eNA. I notice you suggest dating apps on this site. Can you share any success stories?

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