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Thread: Female 45 / Male 23

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's not an age thing. It's a horndog thing. Some 60 y/o man could be doing the same thing if he wanted something to masturbate to, but didn't want any in person dating.
    Yes, not an age thing at all -when I was using dating sites and dating up a storm in my 30s one way I screened people out was if they mentioned something sexual early on or made sexual comments - technology is irrelevant -men of all ages who are looking for a sexual arrangement will tell you/show you/whisper it to you often very early on as they do not want to waste their time. It's fine that he wants a sexual arrangement and to interact mostly in a sexual way but no it has nothing to do with his age -it has to do with what he is interested in with you.

    My niece's husband is 26 - been married to my niece for about 7 years - 2 kids. No he never did this . My friend has a son, same age, serious girlfriend for the last 3 years or so - they dated properly and now live together and likely will marry. Same with another friend's son -same age range. I know of many more examples. I also know of men who are in our age range (you are 45, I am 54) who woud choose to behave this way if they wanted a sexual arrangement.
    If you want to have fun sexting with him and having a sexual arrangement go for it -he's of legal age. But please don't assume men his age all behave this way or that he is interested in a potential relationship with you. If he were he would never risk acting this way unless he knew you didn't want a relationship with him and he was in the mood for a sex partner. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Pippi, I am in an area that allows outdoor restaurants, so not an issue. LOL, you are right. I am dating myself by using the term peek a boo.
    Oh thank goodness lol .... hopefully we will all look back at this and laugh .....

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Yea Tinydance, I agree, it is basically sexual. Not sure if you have ever got out of a long term relationship, but sometimes you just want to cleanse yourself of your last guy. Have you ever felt like this?? My last put on a charade of being straight, but actually was a closeted gay. This hurt me for quite a while, but Iím over it now and want to move on. I donít mind being the object of someones fetish, whatís wrong with that? However, I donít want to be on some porn site or be disrespected.

    Covid times are tough times. I also, for a reason I cannot mention here, have been unable to leave my apartment for 2 years after 7pm (due to a noisy pet), so I have little social life. This sort of arrangement was actually in someways is ideal.
    My suggestion is not to cleanse yourself by having this sort of arrangement -and if you feel like you need a fresh start/to cleanse there are so many ways to do that that can include dating and don't need to. I get stressed and anxious over this pandemic and overwhelmed and feel those needs too -yes I know not the same exact thing - but I know about pent up frustration/you've had it -being fried. I have go to ways to alleviate that which I figured out pre-covid when there were other stresses.

    I don't think he respects you as a person unless you have told him you're just looking for the same thing -then you both can respect each other's stated boundaries. If you're questioning whether it's ok for him to treat you in the way he is that tells me that it's crossing your boundaries. That's ok, just be honest with yourself.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Yea Tinydance, I agree, it is basically sexual. Not sure if you have ever got out of a long term relationship, but sometimes you just want to cleanse yourself of your last guy. Have you ever felt like this?? My last put on a charade of being straight, but actually was a closeted gay. This hurt me for quite a while, but Iím over it now and want to move on. I donít mind being the object of someones fetish, whatís wrong with that? However, I donít want to be on some porn site or be disrespected.

    Covid times are tough times. I also, for a reason I cannot mention here, have been unable to leave my apartment for 2 years after 7pm (due to a noisy pet), so I have little social life. This sort of arrangement was actually in someways is ideal.
    I totally get all this ...sometimes you just want to have fun ... be someone's older woman fetish ( been there and yes it was fun and fun again and again )

    Just enjoy , don't invest , don't write/post/ anything that you wouldn't want your mam to see and enjoy life . Don't over think it sad chick , I always went for younger in my life but some ages cannot gel .... for me it was early20's and me early 30's as I said .

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    My suggestion is not to cleanse yourself by having this sort of arrangement -and if you feel like you need a fresh start/to cleanse there are so many ways to do that that can include dating and don't need to. I get stressed and anxious over this pandemic and overwhelmed and feel those needs too -yes I know not the same exact thing - but I know about pent up frustration/you've had it -being fried. I have go to ways to alleviate that which I figured out pre-covid when there were other stresses.
    Batya, I have tried to date, as old as 61 in my area. The issue is I live in a retirement-age area. Not abnormal to see folks with walkers and other devices. Not being critical, its just how it is here. There is simply no one my age here. The average age at my apartment complex is 80.
    Last edited by sadchick83; 11-20-2020 at 10:09 AM.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by MCvigilante
    Youíve gotten plenty of advice but I thought Iíd give some gen Z wisdom! My generation seem to be extremely sex positive as it is, and the advancement of tech means sex is accessible whether through porn or sexting (more so than it may of been for previous generations)

    Itís important to be safe regardless of age, if youíre going to share nudes through Snapchat or be intimate over FaceTime, you have the insurance of knowing both apps will alert you if any thing is screenshotted, screen recorded, or saved, so if you feel comfortable and confident, there is no shame in sharing a nude. As for his intentions, I think dating within my generation can be odd compared to previous generations, best thing to do is open up a discussion in person about where the relationship is going, especially with an age gap, for your safety literally and emotionally (gen z can be a bit evasive, if you open a discussion and feel like his answers are confusing, or give you absolutely no information, that may not be a good thing)

    There is no shame in an age gap! But every age gap has the potential to have started because of sexuality and fetishisation
    Thank you MC, this is great advice. How do you know if someone recorded FaceTime???? Is this indicated somehow?

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Batya, I have tried to date, as old as 61 in my area. The issue is I live in a retirement-age area. Not abnormal to see folks with walkers and other devices. Not being critical, its just how it is here. There is simply no one my age here. The average in my apartment complex is 80.
    But I'm not saying you should date. This isn't dating. I'm saying not to cleanse yourself with this sort of sexual interaction.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    But I'm not saying you should date. This isn't dating. I'm saying not to cleanse yourself with this sort of sexual interaction.
    Thanks Batya, then I would have to weigh whether I want to wait for a more suitable man, or cleans myself with the 23 year old. It is literally impossible to meet anyone here. I work in a closed office with 9 people, will be working 6 days a week soon. Tried Match, didnít work for me. Havenít had sex in 5 years, so yea, really want to get out of this rut.

  10. #29

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    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Thank you MC, this is great advice. How do you know if someone recorded FaceTime???? Is this indicated somehow?
    So if someone records or screenshots a FaceTime, a notification should pop up in the centre of the screen saying ď**** has screenshottedĒ or something similar

    Iím not too sure about what comes up when someone screen records but you should be told once they start doing it, Iím less familiar with FaceTime in the context of screenshotting, so maybe test it out with a friend who also has an iPhone? Just to be safe, if it doesnít work, try updating the app because I know this feature came with one of the recent iOS updates!

  11. #30
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    How are you going to have sex with him if he won't commit to meeting?

    Also, be assured you are not the only woman he's trying this with, so if you do meet him for sex be sure to ask him to be tested ahead of time and use all means of protection.

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