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Dating a friend


Hope1936

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Hi everyone!

So I have a really good friend I’ve known for few years, we met at work he was actually my manager until I got a promotion in another dept. We’ve been friends since early 2014. While working for the same company we got to know each other and became close friends, talked about everything from work to family issues. It just happened that I was in a really bad abusive marriage, he helped me through it till I divorced early 2016, he was going through marriage problems as well that ended in a legal separation. I ended up leaving the company accepting a better position with more pay, however at the time, in a span of about a year and a half I lost several loved ones; my brother, my sister, and finally my mother (dementia and other health issues). My friend who I’ll call Mike was also going through a difficult time he lost his brother and his grandfather, who raised him. We were no longer working together but remained good friends. So, he ended up calling me up one night to meet for drinks. We both had plenty, allowed things to progress. The next morning was a bit awkward but we both decided that this was a good thing and we would take it day by day this was early 2018, presently things are not going so well, He does not go out with me anymore he simply just wants to come over late at night and he won’t even stay, says he’s really busy and has to be in at 4am the next morning, the thing is he won’t call or text either. When I text, if he answers it’ll be days later when he’s ready to come over for a hookup. My suspicion is that from the beginning he was never really into the change in our relationship, I gave him plenty of opportunity to walk away, told him I would understand and wasn’t angry but he would not walk away, I told him I was feeling disrespected and used, he would simply say he cared about me and believed he could make me happy. Finally, this past Monday I blocked him from all my social media and from my phone because once again I didn’t hear from him over the weekend although he said he would text even though he’d be working.

I took the initiative and texted him Monday afternoon and got no response that’s when I blocked his number. The thing that makes me feel worst is we were such good friends; we were both so open with each other about everything why would he want to throw away our friendship. Did I do the right thing?

:icon_sad:

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Yes, you did the right thing. If it's causing you endless amounts of pain and confusion it is not right for you. He's said one thing and meant another. It's time to pull up your boot straps and keep on walking. Don't waste a minute more of your time on this person. It is not a partnership or romantic relationship in the committed sense.

 

If he's not divorced yet his divorce not being finalized might have a lot to do with his behaviour. Start surrounding yourself with more positivity and people who mistreat you less in their own haze for clarity. Let him go. If both of you want to be friends much, much later down the line, remain cautious. Don't hand over your peace of mind so easily.

 

Carry on taking care of yourself and recreating that life you've always wanted now after your divorce. Be with others more like you.

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