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Thread: Insecurities suck

  1. #1

    Insecurities suck

    Relationship advice My girlfriend and I have been dating 10 months. We have a great relationship most of the time. She has been hurt a lot so sometimes she gets butt hurt(her words not mine) She has 2 younger children which I adore and they adore me. We get to spend every weekend with eachother and we usually just hang out at her place or mine. She likes to get butt hurt about things that are just silly. One morning I was at home and I missed her call and she instantly starts accusing me of being dishonest about what I was doing. I told her I was doing some chores around the house and when she called my phone was in the other room on the charger since it had died. She tells me that what I told her I was doing doesnít add up. Iíve never been unfaithful or lied to her about anything. A few weeks ago she was texted a screenshot of someone that looked like me on a dating profile. She asked me about it and sent me the picture and it is me. On a dating profile from like 2 years ago that I havenít used since then. I told her the truth and I think she believes me but things seem different since that happened.

    Recently she has started feeling that her kids are gonna get overwhelming for me and that Iíll pull back and walk away. I would never do that because this woman is unlike any that Iíve ever met. She makes me feel so good about myself and has so much faith in me. Iím trying to be understanding of her insecurities but they are so constant that it brings up some major insecurities in myself. I donít want to lose her. But I also donít like feeling like Iím walking on egg shells.

    She always tells me that she loves how understanding I am but itís starting to weigh on me. Iíve been cheated on and left for no reason and would never do that to anyone. Am I just overthinking?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Way to much, way too soon. You need to step back.

    She needs to put her kids and her kids relationship with thier father first. That means she needs time to sort this out. A 40 week BF, should not be jumping in like this.

    You depict her as a mere pain in your butt about her "silly", concerns, then claim she makes you feel great?

  3. #3
    I’ve shown her how much I care. That’s all I do. Which I love doing. It’s just hard for me because I love this woman and want to be with her more than I’ve ever wanted to be with anyone. I feel like all I’m gonna do is tick her off. She tells me I have nothing to worry about and to let her be upset. It’s just hard because I can tell when she is mad yet she won’t tell me why until she stews on it and usually it turns into more of an issue when I do finally know what is wrong.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It seems you are incompatible and lack communication skills with each other.

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  6. #5
    We are perfectly compatible. My issue is that she has had guys hurt her in the past and itís so hard to get out from under that and reassure her that Iím not them and that Iím not gonna leave her or hurt her

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not your job to "convince" her you're not them. It's not your job to fix or change her.

    She will just have to see for herself if this is going to work out for her or not.

    All you can do is be more reliable and stop trying to cover your tracks.

    If she's still jealous and distrustful after that, you'll have to reflect on if it's worth good sex to keep on going with this situation.

  8. #7
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    This woman is not ready for a relationship.

    Her issues from her past are hers to fix, not to hold you emotional hostage for. She is punishing you for others' bad behaviour and when this becomes a habit, it destroys relationships.

    It also says how little she thinks of you to assume you're capable of the same cheating and lying. This won't be fixed by you enabling her insecurities.

  9. #8
    Cover my tracks? What the hell does that mean? And sex doesnít have anything to do with my post at all

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Maening all you can do is be the best you can be and the rest is up to her to see/believe that ... or not.
    Originally Posted by Soopermantoo
    Cover my tracks? What the hell does that mean? And sex doesnít have anything to do with my post at all

  11. #10
    To me covering your tracks means you are doing something you shouldnít be and trying to cover it up. Thank you for clarifying what you meant

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