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Thread: Mistrustful boyfriend accusing me of cheating

  1. #11
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Welcome to ENA as a poster.

    So I read the other posts where you replied to someone else's problems. In those you are strong and have definite ideas on how they should be treated.

    My question is: Where is that woman when your bf is acting like an insecure child?

    You cannot be his therapist and this is not something easily worked out like leaving the toilet seat up.

    It sucks to meet someone who appears to be a great match for you only for the skeletons to start creeping out of the closet.

    I am sorry but this relationship is unhealthy and he needs to be single and seek out counseling to learn to face his past and how it has affected his present.

    Lost

  2. #12
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    I could not live this way and neither should you! You need to get rid of the toxic abundance that is him.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You've advised other posters to leave these kinds of relationships. You also refer to your boyfriend as your "ex" and say you left him.

    So, are you still with this abusive a-hole? Or are you trying to find out "why" he acted the way he did before you broke up with him?

    And yes, he is an abuser. No matter how much of a fairy tale prince he is when he isn't abusing you.

  4. #14
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    The last guy who was constantly accusing me of cheating on him, I had to get a restraining order against.

    They try to make you feel bad, so it's their way of trying to isolate you from friends, family, what you like to eat, where, etc. Your guy is not a good person. He is essentially telling you every time he accuses you of something that you are a lying . Do not put up with it. And you aren't going to change him even if you give up your phone and never text any man again. Their behavior only gets worse.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    I actually tried to read your post through your boyfriendís point of view, and I get why heís suspicious.

    He finds a POF site on your phone and then a guy from your past calls to see whatís up, a common move when they want some attention. Why would he choose you to call for attention? After that, he learns youíve maintained a friendship with some guy you used to work with, close enough to be texting each other. A guy who liked you enough to disregard his wife and tell you he had a crush on you. Then, to top it off, he finds a guyís shirt in your apartment that you have literally no explanation for.

    For me, thereís quite a bit of room there for misunderstanding. So ask yourself, are you leaving these other lines of communication open for any particular reason?

    ETA:

    Iím not saying youíre cheating, or doing wrong by maintaining these contacts. I just mean that maybe your boyfriendís idea and your idea of appropriate boundaries are different.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    My response echos others. I dated someone like this and not only does it not get better, it just gets even worse.
    You find yourself censoring yourself and before you know it you don't recognize who you are anymore. You don't feel safe telling him things, knowing he'll try to find fault when there isn't any.
    Not to mention a lot of these types are more inclined to abusive behaviour.

    You can't pay the price for what someone else did to him. Besides, he's not unique and most people have been disappointed by a previous relationship at least once in their lifetime. They all don't run around holding other people hostage over it. If they are then they need some therapy to help them work through it so they have an opportunity to be in a healthy relationship in the future.

  8. #17
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Under review.

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