Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: what do i do , my boyfriend (M24 ) never compliments me (F23)

  1. #1

    what do i do , my boyfriend (M24 ) never compliments me (F23)

    so me and mf have been together for almost a year , we met off of tinder and obviously it was physical at first , he always told me i had an amazing body but never really said anything abt my face , which was kind of a let down ( my bf is a model also lol) , ive noticed that he rarely compliments me and i mean rarely , but yet i compliment him all the time , he works out a lot so he often asks me how he looks pretty much like 10x a day NO JOKE , i take pictures of him , i hype him up , i make sure he feels very good abt himself psychically because he can get insecure but he never does that for me ? he never takes pictures of me , rarely tells me im pretty and when i bring it up to him he always like " you know i think youre attractive " but it never feels like it , it just makes me so sad , im not even on his social media at all he always posts his friends my never me , never on my birthday or valentines day or when we spent a weekend together or anything , i had to literally beg him to posts picture of us .im starting to feel, so sad , i dont even feel attractive anymore i used to feel so confident abt myself , and ive started posting pictures of myself online like fb and snap chat and just to feel better abt myself , never anything risque or anything , but is it too much to ask to feel beautiful ?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    11,310
    Gender
    Female
    Don't date a narcissist and then wonder why he is only into himself and your relationship is a one way street.

    You are doing a good job worshiping his highness. However, it is a one way street only and it is not much of a relationship if you think about it. It's rather soul sucking and soul crushing experience for you.

    It's not too much to want a bf who actually values you, likes you, and shows it. That's actually pretty normal and standard in healthy relationships. However, if you want that, it means you need to ditch this self centered loser and find a better quality guy. This guy you are dating only has eyes for himself.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,552
    It does seem a little one-sided. You sound very supportive and loving. I don't think it's too much but I think it's better to realize quickly when there are individuals who aren't able to reciprocate the same. Unfortunately I've been in your position (not the exact scenario but similar) and it led to negative comments, ridicule, rudeness and overall something else that was worse than thoughtlessness. I won't ever put myself in that position again. There are all kinds of people out there. If you know someone is on the selfish side, you don't have to stay for it.

    Your boyfriend may be inherently very insecure so this may not make him a good match for you as all of his time is spent making himself feel good.

    At some point it's probably better to weigh your pros and cons and see whether this is fulfilling overall to you. If it isn't, there is no shame in walking away. I hope you feel better soon.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    4,445
    Gender
    Female
    You have to take a lot into consideration when choosing a longterm partner. Some people don't naturally think to compliment. But the fact is, when you tell someone if they will do something reasonable that it'll make you happy, and they don't do it, it means they don't care.

    And when he never posts you but others, perhaps he's wanting to look single.

    Your partner should make you feel like the special person you are.

    You're sad and upset, regularly, so that means it's the wrong relationship for you. Communication hasn't helped.

    he often asks me how he looks pretty much like 10x a day NO JOKE A person like this would bore me to tears. What people say is what's on their mind. He's on his mind to the extreme. Why do you put up with him? I can't figure out what's appealing about him beside his looks. As far as I'm aware, the apocalypse hasn't happened yet, so there are an abundance of available men still present on Earth and in your locality. I'd look for a decent one.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,611
    Gender
    Male
    Unfortunately he seems somewhat conceited and self-absorbed. This is hook up material, not BF material. Forget about his opinions. Get your self respect from the inside.
    Originally Posted by mssmikk23
    he always told me i had an amazing body but never really said anything abt my face

    he works out a lot so he often asks me how he looks pretty much like 10x a day NO JOKE

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    49
    Well..
    First of all, he knows he has you. When a woman is all over a guy and he can do whatever.. he has no incentive to fluff her ego back. Because heís already getting his wants and needs met. Heís exploiting your neediness for his own gain. But youíre enabling his poor treatment of you.

    This isnít a quality relationship. Itís probably quite immature. Itís more about ego than anything. You say it started physically and then you two just kept it going. And by the sounds of it the dynamic was probably always you lusting after his looks, and him enjoying that treatment while also being validated for something he is insecure about and pursuing.

    The real issue: Your sense of self is being brought in to question because heís not validating you. But the issue is that youíre seeking validation from an external place (him) rather than internally, where it should be (Yourself) and all this causes you to feel bad about yourself and in turn the relationship. Thereís resentment because of an unmet expectation of what you believe a partner should fulfill. But him complimenting - although nice - isnít his job. We have to build that for ourselves. And generally when we do and it is genuine? We are able to see who and what things and people are good or bad for us. But until then we are at the mercy of toxic situations and people.

    Solution? Stop inflating his ego and expecting to receive the same. Stop asking him to post photos and all that of you two.
    What a person isnít naturally doing, is them showing you how they actually feel about you. This guy wonít give you what you actually want in terms of a relationship.
    Itís clear you want someone who is thoughtful, kind, caring, all the good things whilst also wanting to build a relationship. And ideally heís attractive to you.
    But this guy is just someone you find attractive who you are intimate with and you call it a relationship.

    I call it a learning experience and a catalyst for you to build up your self-esteem so you can choose a guy who is actually good to you and for you. But first you have to do that for yourself.

    As hard as it may be.. I would emotionally distance myself from this guy - still enjoy the fun aspects - dates, sex, etc - but start seeing how clearly he isnít relationship material for you. Start building your world outside of this guy.
    Because right now itís all about him. Because youíre making it that way, enabling it, and heís agreeing with it. Heís getting all his needs met, whilst youíre not.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    2,499
    Gender
    Female
    MSS.

    He sounds utterly boring.

    The other posters are right.

    And I would ask, what possible benefit does this "relationship" bring to you?

    And what DF remarked:

    "You are doing a good job worshiping his highness."

    And why would you cast yourself in this role?

    " i make sure he feels very good abt himself psychically because he can get insecure "



    That's not your job OP.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,355
    Why all this emphasis on complimenting someone's physical features- whether his or yours? Why do you need photos of what you look like on social media? What other redeeming qualities does he have?

  10. #9
    Gold Member waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    suburban Detroit
    Age
    54
    Posts
    564
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by mssmikk23
    . . . he works out a lot so he often asks me how he looks pretty much like 10x a day NO JOKE
    I agree with the poster who said he sounds like a bore. I'd quit worshiping him and find someone with some substance.

  11. #10
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    17,207
    Gender
    Female
    This sounds like a FWBs situation which simply ran out of steam. The more important question is, why are you buying in to this nonsense?


Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •