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Thread: a problem with a friend

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by caraviolin
    She claims she wants to be on the same level of priority as my boyfriend. Is this acceptable for her to ask?
    This is weird.

    you determine the level someone holds in your life. Set some boundaries. If she can't respect that, than she isn't respecting you. Therefore, not a good friend.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by caraviolin
    Thanks so much everyone.
    I am not bi; I am a totally straight woman. I never had the responsibility of maintaining a friendship with a woman, and now that my friend is asking that of me, Iím turned off I guess. I feel a boyfriend is a more important responsibility, because it could lead to marriage, heís my other half, etc.
    I have had other friends who are girls who are totally fine with me visiting once every two months or something. I never had a girl whine and feel dismissed if I didnít see her. So, it makes me uncomfortable and feel like I am in an awkward relationship with her.
    She claims she wants to be on the same level of priority as my boyfriend. Is this acceptable for her to ask?
    The more you speak about her the more I wonder about her relationship with her husband. Realistically this isn't something you should be delving too deep into either as it's none of your business. I didn't have the impression either of you were bi or in the closet, only that she's seeking to fill a void that a partner should be filling instead, not a friend. Her keenness or desperation with you is also so high that even if she were interested in you romantically, she'd at least express some care and consideration for you as an individual and a person. She just... totally lacks that and appears lost in her own world.

    Maybe this is your cue to be a little sharper and smarter where it concerns individuals in your life. She is a friend and you don't have to cut her out but I do think it's high time you set some boundaries. Some individuals just do not know when to take no for an answer. They are pushy and aggressive if they don't get their way. If she refuses to respect you or treats you like a slave or makes demands of you, slanders you or involves herself in your other friendships and relationships vengefully or recklessly, I think it's all the more reason to keep a polite and cordial distance. Learn to let go. I think part of the problem is you worried of letting a bad situation go.

    Hope this resolves itself and you're able to find some peace.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by caraviolin
    She claims she wants to be on the same level of priority as my boyfriend. Is this acceptable for her to ask?
    Does it sound normal to you, OP?

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