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Thread: How to approach him after six months no contact?? 😯😮

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Eh, donít bother.

    Too much time has passed and the likelihood that heís still interested is basically nil. Reaching out now will make you look a little desperate.
    But facts are im not. If someone wants to see it that way that's their problem..but it certainly couldnt be further from the truth in fact if i was i would have took the chance a long time ago in the height of the pandemic at the time he asked to meet. SIX months back 😒
    ..most times we do speak to one another he seems pretty elated if im honest. Not saying it will be like that now..but desperate is the wrong word for sure. 🤨

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    You wrote that you get 10 matches per day in OLD. If you are are not the flake / avoidant that you sound like, the sensible option is to explore new matches, not some guy that you are clearly incompatible/ not in sync with. The trust has been ruined with that guy and whatever kept you apart is still there. Fixating on this stranger and this situation that was clearly not working after six months sounds like a dysfunctional pattern. Why not start over fresh with someone new that you have no negative history with? If you are a texter, find a texter. This guy and you were clearly incompatible, hence why things never took off.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Pass. What the others have said. Covid cases are spiking and a second wave is here. Reconsider if you are concerned for health reasons.

    He sounds a bit strange and mentally unbalanced also. I don't think I would be too keen on someone I hadn't met yet if he asked "if i like him...if i want him..". The whole situation should be making your skin crawl.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are either of you in other relationships? Is this a long distance situation?

    If someone won't meet in person within a couple of weeks , it's a red flag. This could be a catfish, scammer, cheater, etc.

    Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Not meeting and just chitchatting is a waste of time.

    Was this through dating apps? Never send extra pics to random strangers, just meet in person or move on.

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  6. #15
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    You have had plenty of opportunity to meet this guy pandemic or no pandemic. In fact you started chatting to him a year ago when covid was unknown.
    You chose not to meet him.
    Thatís fine. That was your choice.

    You mention about the several opportunities daily for you online , so why are you even thinking about some guy you chose not to meet?

    And was this supposed guy friend another online chatter? Never met him in person?

    My best guess is that you are confident behind a computer screen or phone but thatís where your confidence ends.
    You seem unable to meet in person , nothing to do with a pandemic but great excuse.

    Perhaps itís time to break away from OLD and develop some confidence without the likes and messages from random strangers who mostly are sending the same copy and paste messages to numerous women hoping for a bite.
    Itís a false ego boost for the insecure. (You)
    And really itís not helping your self esteem at all.

    That guy possibly was one of few that were genuinely interested but for him you turned out to be a flake like most.

    I suggest you leave him alone.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by nicole92
    But facts are im not. If someone wants to see it that way that's their problem..but it certainly couldnt be further from the truth in fact if i was i would have took the chance a long time ago in the height of the pandemic at the time he asked to meet. SIX months back 😒
    ..most times we do speak to one another he seems pretty elated if im honest. Not saying it will be like that now..but desperate is the wrong word for sure. 🤨
    So?

    He doesn't know you, and doesn't know all of what you have written here. It's going to come across as desperate whether you are or not.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Clio
    You wrote that you get 10 matches per day in OLD. If you are are not the flake / avoidant that you sound like, the sensible option is to explore new matches, not some guy that you are clearly incompatible/ not in sync with. The trust has been ruined with that guy and whatever kept you apart is still there. Fixating on this stranger and this situation that was clearly not working after six months sounds like a dysfunctional pattern. Why not start over fresh with someone new that you have no negative history with? If you are a texter, find a texter. This guy and you were clearly incompatible, hence why things never took off.
    I took the attachment style test and apparently im an avoidant.

    Yes on average I'll get plenty of matches (likes) on the app. The other poster hit the nail on the head ( not about me specifically)..but that this guy was actually genuinely looking for something. And these other guys firstly i dont like most of them as in ill reject most before even matching and in addition the ones i match may end up looking for one thing or getting an ego boost or being totally nuts.
    Thats is one reason i wanted to reach out to him..even if nothing came of it to explain to him for myself...about why i wasnt more proactive in meeting him.
    I've asked advice from other people and their stances were totally different saying i should give it a shot and ask him to meet me myself.
    Whereas here people are a lot more negative and jaded. Which unfortunately isnt helping.

    I think with regards to him..the reason why he stopped texting is because he assumed my aim was to only be his penpal. He openly said a few times i knew things wouldnt go anywhere with us/ i don't want to be your texting friend etc etc. So its not really that he isnt a texter its with people he meets from the app im guessing he's skeptical and wants to progress onto the phone..and see how real they are.
    Hes been very suspicious from the beginning. I dont know maybe because his experience has been not that amazing before.

    I've not taken enough action i know..and each time we end up speaking..the momentum disappears again and again. As in he expects more and whatever i do isnt enough and its like a cycle.

    And i don't want to feel regret or like i missed an opportunity.
    Which is why i would have preferred it if people were more positive on here and not make me think im doing something wrong for simply contacting him once after all this time.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    So?

    He doesn't know you, and doesn't know all of what you have written here. It's going to come across as desperate whether you are or not.
    Well id say 99 per cent of the time i don't take opportunities landing at my feet as i may appear "desperate" or whatever.

    I don't think its necessarily a universal opinion. Some will see it this way...some won't...some will be glad i reached out..others may not be.

    Its all about taking a chance. I would rather be a glass half full person this time around.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Pass. What the others have said. Covid cases are spiking and a second wave is here. Reconsider if you are concerned for health reasons.

    He sounds a bit strange and mentally unbalanced also. I don't think I would be too keen on someone I hadn't met yet if he asked "if i like him...if i want him..". The whole situation should be making your skin crawl.
    😂.
    That part was taken a little out of context. Its when i was telling him about another guy who was hitting on me and i told him he wasnt my type..so he asked if hes my type. And then followed up with do you like me. So it didnt come out the blue. Although personally i wouldn't ask someone straight up like that whether they like me lol.
    And the wanted part was because i said i have a lengthy list of unwanted admirers on my whatsapp..( people ive blocked previously). And he came out with am in your wanted list.
    So that part was more said in a jokey way than anything else

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are either of you in other relationships? Is this a long distance situation?

    If someone won't meet in person within a couple of weeks , it's a red flag. This could be a catfish, scammer, cheater, etc.

    Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Not meeting and just chitchatting is a waste of time.

    Was this through dating apps? Never send extra pics to random strangers, just meet in person or move on.
    The answer is no to all of the questions.
    I've seen him in his uniform work one.. and various other photos.
    He thinks i may not be real though as he's seen one pic.
    And he asked why i dont change my whatsapp pic..i think he was trying to verify its me. My whatsapp pic isnt of me currently its of me as a 3 year old.

    I live with people who are in the vulnerable category and this is mostly why i couldnt meet him when he asked the last time.
    I would think its common sense but i think unless i spell it out he would probably assumed the worst given the history.

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