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3 month break up story.


crazyguy123

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It's been about 3 months since we have been broken up. I have gotten a lot strong mentally and emotionally. Although, I do have some days when I miss her. She was such an outstanding person.

 

Before we broke up, she started to be distant with me. When we would spend time together, she would be on her phone half the time. There was a lot that went on that made me feel uncomfortable.

 

One day, she told me she felt overwhelmed with our relationship and she needed space. She continued to say, if I can't respect her space, she would understand if I ended our relationship. I told her I'd respect her space. A few days went by and I thought that it would have been best if I ended it. i felt she wanted out after she said "If i can't respect her space, she'd understand if I ended it" On top of the fact that she was creating space. So I told her, if she wanted to work things out she should let me know. She replied with "i just need to be single" So my gut feeling was right, she wanted to be single.

 

I immediately blocked her for the first 3 weeks on instagram and unfollowed her sister.

 

A few months go by, the curious person that I am, noticed that she liked a picture of me on an account she doesn't follow. She knows one of the guys. Some friends thinks that she's trying to get me to reach out to her, which I aint doing. Some people think i'm over thinking things.

 

Another story is, my friend is really popular on social media and is trying to promote these new head phones. She told me to comment on them to show her sponsors that people are "genuinely interested". The following day, I checked to see and my ex commented on the photo too. I brought it up with my friend. My friend said she never got my ex to comment on the picture. My ex commented on it all by herself showing interest in the head phones. Even my friend found it weird.

 

Any input would be nice. But I am just here trying to rant.

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Don't set too much importance on what someone likes on social media. It means nothing.

 

She should have been honest with you from the beginning about wanting to be single, instead of making up a lot of excuses. But people do that sometimes when they don't want to hurt someone.

 

She's not trying to reach out to you. It's over. Don't humiliate yourself by reading into things that aren't there.

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What has changed since the last time you asked this exact same question?

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=566362

 

Or the time before that?

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=566321

 

I think instead of being stuck for months ruminating and asking "why" repeatedly, how about focusing on your job, hobbies, friends and family? This can't be fun for you to be stuck in the past.

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I only knew when my ex wanted to get back together with me when, at the end of the third evening we'd spent together platonically in about a 4-5 week period he asked me if I wanted to get back together. Before that moment I never let myself go there that he might be wanting to get back together even though he was asking to spend time with me, being a bit flirtatious, etc. That is how I knew. I cannot imagine why in the world you'd let yourself grasp at these cyber-straws. You're getting in your own way.

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Until you resolve to delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps, you'll feel haunted and stalled by any little thing that happens on there.

 

Don't reply to "influencers," needs to rack up likes. They need to be honest with thier sponsor, not beg people to like thier posts.

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The relationship had a lot of dislike between the both of you, gaslighting and you were infuriated a lot. She can't be that outstanding. I think she thought very little of you while you were together and it still hurts. You'll be able to get over her as soon as you're able to accept that she isn't interested in you and she doesn't respect you. Both of you had your differences.

 

Keep on with the minimal contact. I wouldn't pay attention to the comment she made. She could have found out about the headphones from someone else or on another website especially if they're being promoted heavily. Take care.

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Based on this being a recurring theme for you. I would ask myself, why you care. You state, reaching out first "ain't happening" from you.

 

What's the motivation here? Are you being stubborn because of pride? Do you want her to reach out to you and you are being stubborn as a strategy?

 

You clearly want to talk to her. But maybe you're conflicted because you know you deserve better?

 

That's what it really comes down to, you are not over this girl and you're looking for justification to lower your standard or maybe the standard you think you should have.

 

I think, firstly, decide what you want. To get over her or to ask her back.

 

If you want to get over her, stop ruminating over this. Stop talking about her and the break up. Change your thoughts, when she pops into your mind... Redirect to self affirmative and compassionate thoughts.... And let this pass.

 

If you want her back, be sure of why... Sounds like she was not very good to you and you might just be caught up in the pride thing....

 

But either way, sounds like you are not ready to let this go and that's pretty normal when you care for someone. give it more time.

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