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Thread: Is my situation hopeless?

  1. #21

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    Thanks all for all your insight, I think the right question to ask now would be how best for me to move on? If anyone has any suggestions, do let me know :)

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by darthkundi
    There's been 1 breakup really, as the ones initiated by her were a month apart and for the same underlying issue which we never spoke about.

    We went on break when I was away in Spain but we both agreed to it and felt it was the best thing to do but somehow I think she never moved past it. We were talking all the time during it and I'd even flown her over for a long weekend.
    These are break-ups, no matter how you choose to label them.

    The damage and disruption to the relationship is the same. Healthy relationships don't look like this.

  3. #23

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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    These are break-ups, no matter how you choose to label them.

    The damage and disruption to the relationship is the same. Healthy relationships don't look like this.
    oh well, time will tell how it all plays out. For now, I am going to respect the decision and move on. At the end of the day, we both are very fortunate and privileged and am sure life has a lot more happiness in the days ahead :) Thanks all

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by darthkundi
    Thanks all for all your insight, I think the right question to ask now would be how best for me to move on? If anyone has any suggestions, do let me know :)
    The therapy is a good start. You might be talking with your therapist about loss and letting go while grieving for your father. Speak with your therapist about coping mechanisms and developing healthy routines.

    When a relationship ends your reality shifts from incorporating two people to now just one, yourself. Any issues you have with yourself, discomforts, things that make you uncomfortable such as not knowing how to be alone or single, bad habits or not taking care of yourself healthwise or in general will be moreso in the forefront. What makes rebounds so popular is that they are distractions from what individuals can't look at in themselves or flaws that they don't know how to make peace with or recover from.

    Hope you feel better. Keep joining on the forum if it helps.

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  6. #25

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    The therapy is a good start. You might be talking with your therapist about loss and letting go while grieving for your father. Speak with your therapist about coping mechanisms and developing healthy routines.

    When a relationship ends your reality shifts from incorporating two people to now just one, yourself. Any issues you have with yourself, discomforts, things that make you uncomfortable such as not knowing how to be alone or single, bad habits or not taking care of yourself healthwise or in general will be moreso in the forefront. What makes rebounds so popular is that they are distractions from what individuals can't look at in themselves or flaws that they don't know how to make peace with or recover from.

    Hope you feel better. Keep joining on the forum if it helps.
    Thanks Rose, in a way, I'm glad things happened the way it did, it's helped me realise I'm still carrying trauma, I remember being heartbroken when I was younger and never reacting quite so viscerally. Something has certainly changed and I'll work it out in therapy :)

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Yes, you will! Have faith in that. And one day at a time.

  8. #27

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Yes, you will! Have faith in that. And one day at a time.
    Ironically I'd say my situation is hopeful :)

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by darthkundi
    Ironically I'd say my situation is hopeful :)
    Wonderful. When does therapy start?

  10. #29

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Wonderful. When does therapy start?
    Yesterday had my first session and funny this, but I've already moved on and no longer desperate. It gave me clarity and understand that no one is blame apart from poor communication as is always the case. I am longer dying to get back together, if it happens, it'll be a nice bonus but tbh I'm just happy now which is all that I wanted

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by darthkundi
    Yesterday had my first session and funny this, but I've already moved on and no longer desperate. It gave me clarity and understand that no one is blame apart from poor communication as is always the case. I am longer dying to get back together, if it happens, it'll be a nice bonus but tbh I'm just happy now which is all that I wanted
    Good! Glad to hear that things have stabilized and you feel a bit better. What provided you clarity and understanding or relief from that pressure or negative thinking... keep thinking on those methods or thoughts. If you have questions or need feedback or feel down speak with your therapist on ways to keep your thoughts clear and focused. I think it's a constant practice not to fall into negative mindsets and try to appreciate everything in life and it helps us move forward.

    Each day I think of one person and one thing both that bring me joy. That one person I think of? I value him or her and make sure I keep in touch. That thing? I do more of or find more of.

    Find ways to smile. Hope you continue to feel good and find more joy.

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