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Thread: Why am I keep on loosing interest after the first dates?

  1. #1
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    Why am I keep on loosing interest after the first dates?

    In the past few weeks I've gone to several first dates. All of them went quite well. No awkward moments and both of us (I think) had fun.

    But the thing is that when the first date is over I loose interest and do not put any effort to schedule another date with the same person.

    Have you ever been in this type of situation?

  2. #2
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    My first guess would be is that you're just not actually into those people you went on dates with. It's actually normal not to feel much click or spark with strangers you meet on online dating. I think if you were into any of those people, you'd be more inclined to want to see them again. There's nothing wrong with not being interested in them. You have to go on a lot of dates to find someone you actually like.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The good news is that you are getting a lot of dates. What about them makes you lose interest?

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    Youíre probably just not feeling it. Iím sure they are nice but nothing special, and thatís okay.

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  6. #5
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    Normal. There are many people you can have an enjoyable first date with without desiring to see the person again. What is your purpose in dating? That can make a huge difference in motivation and even selecting who to go on a first date with.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    The good news is that you are getting a lot of dates. What about them makes you lose interest?
    For example if the date is a smoker, have plans to move to another country, or recently broke up and etc.

    In other I don't feel like betting on a hope that things would be different or change for better if we decide to go exclusive.

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Togo
    In the past few weeks I've gone to several first dates. All of them went quite well. No awkward moments and both of us (I think) had fun.

    But the thing is that when the first date is over I loose interest and do not put any effort to schedule another date with the same person.

    Have you ever been in this type of situation?
    Sure. Dating is a needle-in-a-haystack kind of thing, where the odds are, most people are NOT our match.

    This doesn't speak of any deficiency in either of you, it just means you met a pleasant person but whatever degree of simpatico just wasn't there enough to motivate you to want to reach out again.

    This is true of friendships, too. You can enjoy meeting acquaintances, but how many of them inspire you to want to cultivate a more intimate friendship with them?

    Relationships take work. So anyone who doesn't inspire you enough to put in the effort is just not the right match for you. Sounds to me like you're in touch with your inner screener.

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    Good question.

    Since the long-term factors are important to me, I want to find a girlfriend rather a hang out buddy.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Sounds to me like you're in touch with your inner screener.
    That is a relief if it is true. Thanks.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    For example if the date is a smoker, have plans to move to another country, or recently broke up and etc.

    Those are very valid reasons not to want to date them again. You have to date a boatload of people before finding the gem. When I did OLD, 9 out of 10 times, it didn't go beyond the first date. A few went up to 3 dates. I ruled out some over the phone when I found out things like one having a small child who he had every weekend plus every Wednesday. I wanted someone more available for companionship.

    After many frustrating and upsetting experiences, I finally met my future husband. We felt really comfortable with each other, and he made it crystal clear how into me he was. And we found that we had the same dating goals. On the plus side, he looks like John Travolta, LOL.

    Keep doing what you're doing and eventually you'll find the one who was worth the wait.

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