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Thread: Ex of 5 months engaged to rebound

  1. #1
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    Ex of 5 months engaged to rebound

    Dated ex 1.5 months years loved her a lot wasnít ready for marriage but wanted to marry her.

    Covid was hard on us and it was a mutualish breakup but I walked away. I tried to reconcile a couple weeks later but she was hurt and had started dating someone else. I respected her decision and went no contact.

    She blocked me a month after no contact started and itís been 4 months. I saw a post through mutuals posting on it, and realized she had unblocked me immediately following her engagement to rebound.

    Guess I donít understand why she would unblock me to see that. Also just kind of numb. Iím seeing someone new but always hoped our story wasnít over. Guess Iím posting here cause Iím just confused and wanted to vent.

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Hi,

    Iím sorry youíre hurting. I think just take this time to put your life in order for yourself and take care of yourself. I would still keep no contact with her. Thereís a reason you werenít ready for marriage with this girl. I think you need to not date anyone until youíre fully healed. That way itís fair for the new person in your life.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Hi,

    Iím sorry youíre hurting. I think just take this time to put your life in order for yourself and take care of yourself. I would still keep no contact with her. Thereís a reason you werenít ready for marriage with this girl. I think you need to not date anyone until youíre fully healed. That way itís fair for the new person in your life.
    Good advice.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What made you think reconciling was a good idea after you walked away?

    I'd retrace the steps as it may bring you more resolution going forwards. The relationship didn't work. Reconciling didn't work. Does wondering about what she's thinking help? It's okay for these things to cross your mind. I doubt anyone can help that. Sooner or later you'll have to find your way back to the door that says "It's Not Going To Work". How many times do you want to keep punishing yourself over this?

    Once you've decided enough is enough you might find more peace of mind and courage to close that door yourself and put the past away. Being involved with someone else can create a lot of confusion because your emotions are already at a heightened level and what you used to feel may be confused with what you're feeling for your new partner. Give yourself more time to heal or take things very slowly with your current relationship. Good luck.

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  6. #5
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    Iím confused !

    How would you know the precise moment she unblocked you?
    Unless you have been checking every hour every day for the past 4 months???

    But you have decided in your own mind that the minute she got engaged her first thought was to unblock you???
    Unblock you on what platform / social media??

    You were a rebound for her as much as she was for you.
    Often rebound relationships are a stepping stone to get over the grief of a loved one. Essentially making it easier to get past the grief but really prolonging it by masking it.

    That seems to be what you provided for each other.

    So is this guy for her really a rebound?
    Or simply her next relationship after her ex from 1.5 years ago?

    But does it matter?

    Whatís good is that you have remained single and hopefully continue to be until you are actually over both her and your ex.

    Take the opportunity now to block her and move on.

    Good luck!!!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Hi,

    Iím sorry youíre hurting. I think just take this time to put your life in order for yourself and take care of yourself. I would still keep no contact with her. Thereís a reason you werenít ready for marriage with this girl. I think you need to not date anyone until youíre fully healed. That way itís fair for the new person in your life.
    I also think this is the best advice. Take time for yourself. Don't use your current partner anymore. She deserves better.

  8. #7
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    Sorry original post confusing but dated ex 1.5 years, been apart about 5 months. Didnít ever really think we would work it out and have moved on considerably after personal development work. Just felt like it was cruel of her to randomly unblock me on social media after getting engaged knowing I would see at some point due to our shared circles.

    Am continuing no contact of course. In do not mention her at all irl. I guess it just hit me that I was forgotten/moved on from so quickly. Hurt a little that she gave me what seemed like one last parting jab even tho I wasnít bad to her.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hky2020
    Sorry original post confusing but dated ex 1.5 years, been apart about 5 months. Didnít ever really think we would work it out and have moved on considerably after personal development work. Just felt like it was cruel of her to randomly unblock me on social media after getting engaged knowing I would see at some point due to our shared circles.

    Am continuing no contact of course. In do not mention her at all irl. I guess it just hit me that I was forgotten/moved on from so quickly. Hurt a little that she gave me what seemed like one last parting jab even tho I wasnít bad to her.
    Why is it hurtful for her to move on, but OK for you? Serious question to consider. People do not forget, short of actual amnesia. You are dating someone else, does that mean you forgot your ex? No. So why do you assume she forgot? She also moved on with her life.....as she should.....as you should too.

    When you break up, it is always final or at least always treat it like that in your mind. Be sure of your decision to walk away instead of leaving things open or giving yourself some lingering idea that maybe some day you'll get back together. There is another term for that - using your ex like a safety net. The real shock here for you is that your safety net is not actually there anymore. This is nothing to do with love or caring or anything else, just you cushioning yourself in the break up and suddenly realizing that there is no cushion after all - you are on your own. Fear talking, but fear of what exactly? You already know you can find someone else....already did it.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's going to hurt seeing someone you were just with with someone else. Cut yourself some slack, tell yourself it's part and parcel of moving on and don't think too much about it past that. It's not a big deal unless you want it to be.

    Is the person you're seeing a casual or more serious relationship?

  11. #10
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    Exclusive, but casual. We live in different cities meet up every couple weeks. Do fun stuff.

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