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Thread: How to set boundaries

  1. #21
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    Do not make excuses because if you WANTED to see someone badly, you could still see them - on a date at the park or something.
    So don't say you are not on Facebook a lot or its because of the pandemic.

    Just delete their friend request and say "no thanks" about hanging out. If someone doesn't get the message, just say "no, sorry, i don't want to hang out with you"

    If someone wants you to do their hair - say NO, but i can recommend a stylist.

  2. #22
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    I think you're using the fear of coming across as "rude" rather than "forthright/genuine" so that you don't have to practice the simple "no" and can keep telling yourself you're the victim and also tell yourself you need a "life coach" - it's the easier way out for you, it seems. I agree totally with practicing saying no in simple and firm/polite ways. You'll get the hang of it!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ironi
    1, ... she is a work colleague of my family so I will always bump into her in a work environment as sometimes she'll come over for training and stay for drinks. but I don't want to hang out socially.
    Break the cycle. Stop having drinks with her. When she's around, scram. Get busy doing something else with your door locked. When she tells your family that you're rude, tell family, "Yes. I. Am." And laugh about it.

    Originally Posted by ironi
    2, When people ask for favours that I don't want to do/have time for - will you do my hair or makeup?
    Name a high price for your services, and say you typically charge this now. If they complain, offer a 10 percent discount and hold your ground. If they don't like it, good--they won't bother you again.

    Originally Posted by ironi
    , People who try to add you on social media and then ask why you haven't accepted them. I have said I don't use it or active but they still insist I accept them.
    Delete the request. If confronted, repeat that you don't use it and don't want to. Rinse. Repeat as necessary.

    Originally Posted by ironi
    , When people who you don't know ask personal questions and try to give you advice. For example a girl I met asked if I was single and I said yes
    A question does not require an answer. Just respond, "I'm not in the market." Any blather after that can be interrupted with, "I mean, I'm not in the market for advice."

    Originally Posted by ironi
    , Someone I don't know that well keeps wanting to offload their life, [...] my family member said how the colleague thought I was rude and it upset her more.
    Respond to family, "If you want to put up with her, that's your choice. I choose not. Please don't discuss her with me--(laugh)--I'm rude and not interested."

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