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Thread: My husband doesn't seem to love me anymore

  1. #21
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    So how do you think I should confront him? What could of caused such a big change in him?
    Confront is a strong word. When did the change occur? One way to help remember is to recall the last time you felt good together. Then make a list of all life changes that occurred near that time--either right before it, or shortly afterward.

    It sounds like his mom used the word 'wife' to remind him that he is married.

    I'd approach a convo with the idea that you're trying to learn what might be best for both of you rather than confronting him, which sounds accusatory. That's how to slam someone shut.

    I'd tell husband that I sense he has been unhappy lately, and I'm not going to try to make him feel guilty about that. I want him to trust that I can handle whatever he has to tell me, and now would be a good time.

    Then I'd go silent and hear what he has to say.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MaryH123
    But, the problem started when all of a sudden I began to notice a strange change in behaviour in him.

    It seemed as if he began to grow more and more distant. He no longer talked to me as much and he didn't show me any affection anymore. He is not showing interest in our relationship. It's like he stopped caring completly. I still tried to show him I loved him regardless, but nothing changed. He appeared completly out of it. It kinda hurt me.

    That change in him came completely out of the blue and I dont know what's going on..

    Another important thing I should mention is that, he is very close to his mother and she does come to visit him often. So one day I come home to find her there. I was in the other room overhearing their conversation. I remember her asking him something along the lines of "How's everything with your wife?". Something like that. So, I stood there to listen to his response. He replied that he "didn't know". That did sound pretty strange to me... He basically told her I was getting annoying with how much I invaded his personal space and how I was "overly-affectionate". I didn't really know what that even meant at first... But I mean, I could respect that and give him personal space. But he also told her "he didn't feel anything for me anymore and he no longer cared."
    Wow, that's a big deal.

    When did you notice the change in him? Was it before the conversation that you overheard?

    I think it's weird that his mother calls you his "wife," and not by name. When my mom asks how my boyfriend is, she says, "How's Arnold." And when Arnold's parents ask how I am, they say, "How's Jibralta?" Not naming you almost seems like a sign of contempt.

    I see that some other people have suggested that his mom used "your wife" as a way to remind him that he's married.... Maybe that's the case... You know her best. But I would have a hard time dismissing that. I can't imagine my mom or his dad saying something like that. It's just so cold and dismissive. We are part of each other's family now, and they've known us too long to reduce us to common nouns like that. They don't refer to our siblings as "Your Sister" or "Your Brother." We all have names.

    But if one of us was having an affair, or being ridiculous with complaints, maybe our parent(s) would address our partner more formally in order to emphasize our relationship....

    Either way, the really big thing is that he said he "didn't feel anything for [you] anymore and he no longer cared."

    Originally Posted by MaryH123
    So how do you think I should confront him?
    I really like catfeeder's advice on this.

    Originally Posted by MaryH123
    What could of caused such a big change in him?
    The first thing that comes to mind is that he has another love interest. Even if it's just a crush that's gotten a little too strong. That's the only thing I can think of that makes people check out of their relationship like this.
    Last edited by Jibralta; 11-15-2020 at 10:21 AM.

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