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Thread: Itís complicated

  1. #11
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    When I read the title of your thread the first thing that popped into my head is "There is someone else"

    So now that you have this women at work that is showing intertest all of a sudden your wife has all these issues. It is called the rewriting of history. "I haven't been happy for a long time" "there is no intimacy" ...

    Just be brutally honest with yourself and us. You want to dump your wife to pursue this other woman and want to know how to do it without looking like a guy that dumped his disabled wife for a newer model.

    If it is a crush then see it for what it is and do nothing.

    If your marriage is that bad then do something about it. Marriage counseling for starters. Both of you in the same room with a therapist talking things out and sharing your feeling openly and honestly. See if you can work to improve the marriage and if not start talking about the best way to end it.

    Simply surviving until some woman comes along that is better so you can swing from one branch to another is not right. Fix what is broken with what you do have and failing that end the relationship, be single for a while and then start dating with a clean slate.

    Don't put your crush on your wife's shoulders, that is all on you.


  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I have to agree with the others... its quite convenient you find your situation unbearable, now that you set your eyes on someone else.

    However, if you are unhappy, whatever prompted it, here you are.

    I will agree from what you wrote, it is not the best with your wife. But at the same time, you set this up this way. People do get complacent, even lazy when no effort is required in so many areas.

    However, it sounds like it's more...Not showering, not having any interest, sleep disorders, fear of driving etc are mental conditions. She needs help.

    Only you know what you want to do... but are you considering leaving her?
    I agree with this 100%^^^^

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    If you don't finish old business before starting someone new, you'll offer new girl a front row seat to witness your capacity for disloyalty. Not a great look.

    If you want to be out of your marriage, get out of your marriage. If you want to stay with wife, don't complain to others about her, and don't cheat.

    If you need help to make this decision, hire a therapist and work it through.

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