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Thread: My aunt is a narcissist and she wants to be my landlord

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You don't have a good relationship with your aunt so this seems fairly straightforward to me. You've already spoken about your privacy and her coming over unannounced. She's disregarded you. The relationship is not good or she doesn't trust you. It's probably best to find your own place.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm trying to figure out how any of that makes her a narcissist.

    Is it worth her barging in on you to save some money on rent?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This sounds too imbalanced. At least with a roommate you'd be dealing with someone who is equally invested enough in their own privacy to honor yours.

    How much money would you save as a trade-off for a life walking on eggshells 'around' her?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sugahcity
    Okay I should have been more specific I can pay rent and bills in full but it’s a “rob peter to pay Paul” kind of situation. Other family members like her sister who she always scapegoats think I should do it because “she’s getting old and if she died I’d have something that belonged to me”

    But that’s not a good reason to me because first of all waiting for someone to die to cash in and only to cash in is plain wrong and who’s to say she’s going to give it to me? Who’s to say I won’t have to fight other family members for it?

    My next plan is YouTube which I have faith in but that money is not a paycheck. It could take months and up to a year to see revenue off of that
    If she is truly a narcissist, then it's only a matter of time before she turns on you and kicks you out, or if you have a contract in place, will make your life such absolute hell that you will leave yourself.

    Don't kid yourself about inheritances and don't listen to bad advice. Especially when behind that advice might be self centered interests, like if they can rope you into taking care of her, nobody else needs to deal with her bs.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Don't kid yourself about inheritances and don't listen to bad advice. Especially when behind that advice might be self centered interests, like if they can rope you into taking care of her, nobody else needs to deal with her bs.
    Great point. It makes no sense to invest in landing on the 'right' side of anyone you'd need to tap-dance around--for life.

    Chances are, you'd spend countless years making yourself miserable only to end up deleted from the will over some latest slight.

    Is that really any way to live?

    Skip that. Use your intelligence to invest in a course focused on your own best interests. If your investment in Aunt is not sincere and balanced, then what should that tell you?

  7. #16
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm trying to figure out how any of that makes her a narcissist.
    Same here. :-/

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your best recourse right now is to find your own affordable place and more importantly find income producing pursuits .

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm trying to figure out how any of that makes her a narcissist.

    Is it worth her barging in on you to save some money on rent?
    It’s too long a story to explain but she starts arguments and then plays victim. Then when you decide to step away from her she calls the rest of the family and says that “she has no family” but when you try to be family she picks petty fights. It’s exhausting.

    Or one time when I was considering moving from my old place into a new and cheaper one (mind you it was her idea) she got mad that I found the place (because the place was further away from her) and threatened not to help me even after she said she would

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What do you mean by "help you", Do you work full time in a decently paying job? Can you afford this place or get roommates.

    Who cares if she gossips too everyone?. Sever the financial dependence and your problems will be solved.

    Stop trying to control/change her. She is who she is and all you can do is have boundaries and become independent of her.
    Originally Posted by sugahcity
    Then when you decide to step away from her she calls the rest of the family and says that “she has no family”

    I found the place (because the place was further away from her) and threatened not to help me even after she said she would

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    I would stay away from the aunt given what you've written. Maybe finding a situation with some roommates, or even just a room to rent in someone's home is a better option.
    Where I live is small, word of mouth, and what most people would consider “backwards.” Most people OWN HOMES and in order to get a rental you literally have to know a guy who knows a guy. I got my place because one Sunday I went to church with my aunt and had a conversation with the landlord, who used to be my aunt’s employee (yeah she’s used to being the boss of EVERYBODY).

    I literally found out about this place the day before I made this thread... barely a week and a half ago. I’m just gonna see if I can get my old job, literally any job, see what other forms of help I qualify for, start YouTube and keep it moving.

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