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Thread: I had to part ways

  1. #1
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    I had to part ways

    I was dating this amazing guy for almost 8 months. He had some stuff from his childhood and he has a daughter in another state. The ex took her there and itís been hard on him.
    Needless to say, we got along awesome. We just vibed. The only problem after 8 months he didnít know what he wanted. I am older by about 8 years. He is 37 and I am 45. I do not want anymore kids(told him from the beginning) or at least I thought I didnít. He may want another one, but that is not the whole reason, when asked. I am at a loss.
    I had to break up with him. My heart was hurt when he said he didnít not know what he wanted. I guess I just wanted to write it down on this forum. I have never posted anything before. My heart just hurts.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Cry your eyes out. And then think about how strong you were to end something that was unfulfilling. You're stronger than you think for knowing what you need and deserve. That's it right there.

    You have the right idea not mixing up with people who don't know what they want. Regardless of their issues, you need to get on with the business of living and tend to yourself. There's a time and place for everything.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately in addition to him not being ready to date, it sounds like he's pining for his ex and family. Add to that the incompatibility regarding kids and you did the right thing ending it.
    Originally Posted by winkie;)
    I was dating this amazing guy for almost 8 months. he has a daughter in another state. The ex took her there and itís been hard on him.
    I do not want anymore kids. He may want another one, but that is not the whole reason, when asked. I am at a loss.
    he didnít not know what he wanted.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Don't waste time on someone with that kind of baggage no matter the "vibe"...it seems it will always catch up with you. Sorry for your loss....better luck next one.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to be. Time will heal your wounds.

    Look at the silver lining or blessing in disguise. He wouldn't have been capable of giving you the type of happy life you desire and deserve.

    I agree with others. He has baggage and comes with strings attached which is complicated and you don't need this type of insecurity, instability and stress. At the end of the day, think in practical terms and remain realistic. Then the hurt becomes less.

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    Thank you everyone. He is not at all for his ex. It is over but yes he has baggage from it. Also from his childhood. I have 2 kids of my own and I am happy with that. Itís just hard this is the first person since my divorce (July 2015) that I actually was crazy about.
    I will say he opened me up to things that I thought I would not want (cuddling, being with someone all
    The time, staying over all the time, maybe remarrying), I am grateful for that.

  8. #7
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    Any loss will hurt, even if you know it's the right thing to do. Indulge in yourself and get caught up in your own hobbies, interests, likes and family.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by winkie;)
    Thank you everyone. He is not at all for his ex. It is over but yes he has baggage from it. Also from his childhood. I have 2 kids of my own and I am happy with that. Itís just hard this is the first person since my divorce (July 2015) that I actually was crazy about.
    I will say he opened me up to things that I thought I would not want (cuddling, being with someone all
    The time, staying over all the time, maybe remarrying), I am grateful for that.
    Be kind to yourself as you allow time to heal your broken heart. What helps is to get busy, distracted by doing things you enjoy, become industrious and then you won't have as much time and energy to dwell on your past with him. Then he'll eventually become a blur.

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    I remember someone saying to me when I was crazy about someone and they didn't feel the same, that that person wasn't "the one". Because "the one" would feel exactly the same about me too. I think being in a relationship has to be mutual love and adoration and "vibing", as you said. If after eight months the guy said he doesn't know what he wants, then obviously you're not really Viking. Because from his end he's not feeling it to the same extent as you. Saying he doesn't know what he wants is just such a blank statement and doesn't really speak of having much feelings. I think you deserve someone who does know what they want, and they want YOU.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    One day at a time.. it's okay to be sad.

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