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Thread: 30 years old dating 20 year ols

  1. #11
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by solasan
    I am a 30 year old guy, i have been divorced for a while..
    Do you have any children?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are these issues why you're divorced? It seems your thinking is along the lines of "I act like an irresponsible party animal and a 20 y/o vs someone my own chronological age would put up with this"

    Well not necessarily. It also sounds like someone younger appeals to you not because of her friendliness, but because you're under the impression that there'll be less grown up demands on you.
    Originally Posted by solasan
    , i still go out and drink all night, i still drive my stupid r1, i still play fifa all night and i still have my friends over for weed and alcoholic beverages D!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    In general, a 20 yr olds think 30 is ancient. so just keep that in mind. I know when I was 20. I would be friendly and fun because there was no way I saw them as a paramour. like dude, you're my dad with your house, car and pension....lol. And if I got a wiff they were hitting on me? I was outta there

    So just be careful you're reading this right. No offense. Im not saying you're wrong about the mutual interest...Its just a possibility.

    Is she still living at home? In school?

    Some of parts of her life and some of yours are so different.... its a big hurdle. The peer pressure from her family and friends could also be too intense.

    Just things to consider. Young people can be emotional, irrational and fall in love super fast... the frontal lobe does not fully develop until around 25. So you really have the potential to cause a lot of harm. Especially, since you're still sowing your wild oats, round two, after your divorce.

    If you don't have intentions to be more than a good time, find someone better prepared and equipped to deal with that and play on your level.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    In general, a 20 yr olds think 30 is ancient. so just keep that in mind. I know when I was 20. I would be friendly and fun because there was no way I saw them as a paramour. like dude, you're my dad with your house, car and pension....lol. And if I got a wiff they were hitting on me? I was outta there

    So just be careful you're reading this right. No offense. Im not saying you're wrong about the mutual interest...Its just a possibility.

    Is she still living at home? In school?

    Some of parts of her life and some of yours are so different.... its a big hurdle. The peer pressure from her family and friends could also be too intense.

    Just things to consider. Young people can be emotional, irrational and fall in love super fast... the frontal lobe does not fully develop until around 25. So you really have the potential to cause a lot of harm. Especially, since you're still sowing your wild oats, round two, after your divorce.

    If you don't have intentions to be more than a good time, find someone better prepared and equipped to deal with that and play on your level.
    I was actually going to say basically all the same. I'm 35 now, but when I was 20, I thought a 30-year-old was old lol I know there are probably some younger people reading these forums, but I find 20-year-olds mostly pretty immature. Keep in mind I'm saying that because I'm 35, so there's a very big age gap.

    When I was 19, I started seeing this guy I met on a hookup site who said he was 35. He lied and he was really 42. Anyway, I'm bringing it up because when I thought he was 35 and I was 19/20, I thought he was super old. I was actually embarrassed about his age and didn't want to be in a real relationship (he did). I never told any of my friends or family about him and didn't want my friends to see him at all. If we were out together and anyone asked anything, I lied and said he was my uncle. And I often told him he's old. Yes I was an immature and nasty piece of work lol

    I mean, you could try dating this girl but my guess is she might not take you that seriously. She might just think it's fun to have a fling with an older man. I know maybe fifty years ago it was normal for a very young girl to marry an older man. But these days young people are a very different generation. From what I can see, a lot of them are very preoccupied with social media and their image on social media. Worried about their popularity and how many likes and followers they're getting and things like that. I think if you're in your 30's, you didn't grow up and have your youth with social media. So it's a very different generation and in my opinion too different to actually date.

    I'm bisexual and I went on a date with a 23-year-old girl from online dating. It was a really weird date! She lived with her parents. Her parents drove her to the date and were waiting nearby to make sure everything was OK. I live in a big city with public transport by the way. Then we ran into her parents and they invited me over for dinner to their place. The girl then went on to reveal that she didn't work, her parents drove her literally everywhere. I feel bad but I kinda ghosted her after that because I found her too young and immature for me.

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  6. #15
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    I agree that in all probability, it wouldn't work out.

    Having said that, I've a good friend who met his partner when he was 31 and she was 21. They're now 37 and 27, and very very happy together with 2 children. I think she was more mature than your average 21 year old.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Don't over think this.

    Ask her out when she gets back in town and see what she says.

    You will know by the second date if you are compatible because of the age thing.

    Just be honest with her and see what happens.

    Lost

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    It definitely happens.

    but you said you're not looking to get married? So their relationship is the complete opposite of what you are looking for.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I remember when I was 20 and worked with a bunch of 30 year olds and beyond. I thought 30 was "old" or even ancient (w/all due respect) because they were more settled and established with mortgages, debts, mundane routines maintaining their households and a fairly predictable existence whereas I was young and going places in life. It is very true about the generation gap and it is very real.

    A 30 year old had experienced life whereas a 20 year old is just beginning to find out who she is, where her place in society is and becoming her own person. That's a lot to take in at age 20 and a 30 year old is worldly. A 20 year old is very naive at that stage in her young life. That's something you need to ponder and respect as a moral man of honor and integrity.

    Be practical and realistic.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Ian4996
    I agree that in all probability, it wouldn't work out.

    Having said that, I've a good friend who met his partner when he was 31 and she was 21. They're now 37 and 27, and very very happy together with 2 children. I think she was more mature than your average 21 year old.
    Well I think it does depend on the 20-year-old's maturity level and also what you're actually looking for. You said you're not looking for marriage. Do you mean only just at the moment? You must have wanted marriage in the past because you did actually get married? I think for something casual it's probably fine but I wouldn't think this 20-year-old girl would even want something that serious. So if you have low expectations and just to have some fun then I'd say you can ask her out.

    I don't know though, most times I interact with people of that age, I just feel like they consider me old and don't want to associate with me. This year I did a sign language course at community college and the class had 35 people in it. The majority of people were young people in their late teens and 20's. They didn't seem interested in talking to me at all and only hung out with each other. There were a couple of nice girls but other than that some were actually mean and laughed at people behind their back. Or even to their face lol

  11. #20
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    How did you get her number? Did she give it to you or did you get it from her records at your work?

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