Online date advise

I have met a guy on a dating app and I felt that we really connected after our first date. I really liked him and I think he liked me. The next day I met him with another woman. it was awkward. We acted like we did not notice each other. I am not sure who she is. It probably just means he is not into me. Any advice? Should i just forget him and move on - I do not want to do it though. Should I act as nothing happened?

It sounds like he is dating around. That's fine and dandy... but if I went through the whole scenario that you described with the other woman and not noticing each other, it would probably ruin the mood for me.

What I'm saying is, I'd leave him be and find some other pursuits.

It sounds like he is dating around. That's fine and dandy... but if I went through the whole scenario that you described with the other woman and not noticing each other, it would probably ruin the mood for me.

 

What I'm saying is, I'd leave him be and find some other pursuits.

It ruined the day for me. I kind of like him anyway. Just do not know what to do. Thanks for answering though

The second meet up doesn't sound like a date and more of a group hang out. How old are you?

If you like him, ask him who that was because he goofed and didn't introduce the two of you. See how he responds. Either way, get the answer if you like him. There's no sense in leaving things hanging like that.

The second meet up doesn't sound like a date and more of a group hang out. How old are you?

 

If you like him, ask him who that was because he goofed and didn't introduce the two of you. See how he responds. Either way, get the answer if you like him. There's no sense in leaving things hanging like that.

I do not feel like I can ask him who it was since we only met with him once and he certainly can do whatever he wants. On the other hand, I feel like even if he liked me enough for a second date he is probably turned off since this meeting when he was with another woman was uncomfortable.

If the vibe was completely off at the second meet and the spark wasn't there or he hasn't contacted you since, it's safe to say he's not interested. She could have been a friend, a friend's sister, a cousin, etc. Don't read into it. It was awkward and it shouldn't have been that way.

He should have introduced the both of you. Not doing so is rude and disrespectful of both of you. I don't think this person has enough sense to date so it's probably for the best. Don't be too discouraged. There are all kinds out there.

Some people multidate. Being as you and he have only went out recently, he probably feels that it's fine to still date other women.

Most people don't stop multi-dating until they and another person agree to be exclusive.

But there are a lot men and women out there though that don't want to multi-date and only date one person at all a time.

Unfortunately, it's not this man.

My advice is for you to change your profile and to specify that you are not multi-dating, you only want to date one person at a time and hope that whoever you date, wants the same.

That way you can weed out the ones who want to date around.

But yeah, I think things are too weird now with this man to continue. No doubt he felt embarrassed and things will be more than awkward now.

I do not feel like I can ask him who it was since we only met with him once and he certainly can do whatever he wants. On the other hand, I feel like even if he liked me enough for a second date he is probably turned off since this meeting when he was with another woman was uncomfortable.

Could be he's dating someone else or maybe she is his sister! You won't know if you dont ask.

Could be he's dating someone else or maybe she is his sister! You won't know if you dont ask.

Not a sister. I asked. I just do not want him to feel confronted because he really does not own me anything at this point. We just had one date and I do not want to ruin it (if there is anything to ruin)

Will you just look past it then and keep dating him, knowing that he's most likely dating someone else besides you?

In the beginning people are talking to and meeting people from online dating. Yes, it's awkward running into him.

Keep in mind, no matter how well the first meet went, one-and-done happens all the time, so don't take it personally.

Just move forward and continue talking to and meeting men until both of you want a second date then take it from there.

Not a sister. I asked. I just do not want him to feel confronted because he really does not own me anything at this point. We just had one date and I do not want to ruin it (if there is anything to ruin)

I'm not clear about what happened. You said that you both pretended not to notice one another, so when did you ask him?

I'd back off and see if he contacts you. If not, you'll have your answer. If so, decide whether you want to see him again.

I'm not clear about what happened. You said that you both pretended not to notice one another, so when did you ask him?

I was wondering the same thing.

OP, have you since spoken to him?

Not a sister. I asked. I just do not want him to feel confronted because he really does not own me anything at this point. We just had one date and I do not want to ruin it (if there is anything to ruin)

Asking a casual, logical question is hardly confronting someone. Obviously this bothers you so either ask him or move on. If the question bothers him then he's avoiding something.

One meeting with someone you met on line, is not really a date. Its a meet and greet to see if a date is desired.

He is free as a bird to do whatever. Did you guys say you wanted to go on another date? Did you talk to him after? I think we're all a little unclear on what actually happened. How it was awkward and what you said.

I would tend to think it could mean nothing at all that he was out with another date. And he might not have known how to handle it when he saw you.

I probably would not ask him about her until I felt sure he had some interest in seeing me again. And even then I would tread lightly. Its really easy to be misunderstood early on because people don't know each other. They have no frame of reference. They fill in the gaps with assumptions.

And you don't want to make a big deal of it, explaining you don't care but just want to know ... which always comes across as disrespectful and controlling. like I met you one time, I owe you nothing.

you catch more flies with honey... always remember that. Best bet is to let it go....

My other advice is, slow down you don't like him. you like what you think he is. If he doesn't ask you out or respond positively to you asking him out. Don't dwell on it. Someone better will come along.

I would ask you to reverse the situation. What if he ran into you on a first meet with another guy you had been chatting to online and agreed to meet?

Would you feel like you blew it with him even though you liked him more than the guy he saw you with?

You are very correct that he does not owe you anything so pretend like it didn't happen and move forward. Lets say you hadn't seen him what would you be doing right now?

The thing is this happens all the time but people just don't usually run into each other so they are blissfully ignorant and go along happily thinking they are the only one.

If you like him then see what happens but you may need to initiate the next contact as he may think it is over for good because of the awkward meeting.

You have nothing to lose here really. Be brave and send him a note.

"Hey ________, That was really awkward running into you with that other woman wasn't it?" Then see what he says.

It can be hard to find and make a connection doing online dating so don't just throw this away without some clarity.

Lost

I agree with Lost.

It may be possible that he will want to avoid an awkward moment and second guess reaching out. Because as proven in your own words, it made you uncomfortable,

You have nothing to lose by reaching out to him and either casually mentioning it in passing. . .like addressing the the preverbial elephant in the room - or carrying on as if nothing happened.

Because in the light of day, you two don't really owe each other an explanation. Keep it simple and don't overthink it.

I reached out to him. I really liked our first date and it does not happen often. He did not respond. Well, so be it. I should have said what Lost suggested, oh well. Thank you all for the great advice.

I reached out to him. I really liked our first date and it does not happen often. He did not respond. Well, so be it. I should have said what Lost suggested, oh well. Thank you all for the great advice.

Do you mean you reached out but didn't address the other person that was there?

People will test you wherever you go. It's up to you to speak up for yourself and address things that make you uncomfortable. Not everyone will be as straightforward or think in the same way as you. It's part and parcel of dating. If you are hesitant to be more vocal, dating will be hard for you. Don't lose faith or courage. I'd say try working on being more outspoken and don't make apologies for it. You are entitled to your thoughts and for others to treat you well.

I'd take this as a learning experience and don't ever second guess your radar or gut feelings on something.

I reached out to him. I really liked our first date and it does not happen often. He did not respond. Well, so be it. I should have said what Lost suggested, oh well. Thank you all for the great advice.

I know you're disappointed. Maybe this is a lesson for next time...

Granted, if he was interested he would respond no matter what you wrote. But next time, try to think through what you are saying. Asking a question is a good idea. And may trigger a respond.

The other thing is, I'm not suggesting you play games but stating it's rare for you to like a date is a little heavy on to a stranger. Jovial, light, easy going, you have a lot of options is the vibe you want to give...

Its ok. there's someone better out there that'll make a date at the end of the first meet. That's the sign to look for. Clear, no games, confident, interested all good things in a potential date.

Good on you for being brave.

Of course it didn't turn out like we all hoped but the good part is now you know for sure and all that wondering should be washed away.

Don't worry about what you wrote, if he was into you he would have responded. His loss

Lost

Good for you. Now you can put this behind you.

For all you know that was his girlfriend he was stepping out on.

Head high.