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Thread: Can you get PTSD from emotional abuse?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Don't contact him anymore and put a stop to any visitations or phonecalls. There's no reason for him to be trying to get a hold of you directly. You mentioned he's to contact you through your lawyer. The ruminations, racing thoughts, anger, resentment, fear, anxiety continues for awhile. I can't speak for anyone else. I woke up drenched in sweat and had problems sleeping as well. etc etc etc. Not easy but it's workable. What you keep telling yourself is that it will end. And it will. I didn't get a diagnosis or speak to a doctor about it and I didn't take any pills. I saw this as a transition period in my life where hiccups are bound to happen and cut myself some slack. What I was adamant about was not taking any time off and sticking to all my commitments. I didn't want any excuses for things slipping through the cracks and wanted absolutely nothing to be put on hold. It's what got me though and I wouldn't have changed anything about it.

    What I do remember doing was limiting my caffeine intake drastically and increasing more exercise. It helped a lot.

    Speak with your doctor if you need help with things but don't layer problem over problem on your own. I think things will ease up in a few months after you start to create a healthier routine for yourself. In the process do not self-destruct. You can do it.
    I wish I was this strong. Not that I feel bad about the pills- I've suffered anxiety/depression since I was a teen and I feel better on medication so that aspect I'm okay with. But I feel unable to work- but I have no choice but to return because I was denied more of a paid leave. It's unfortunate- I'm crying sporadically, sleep deprived, have poor concentration and I'm not in the mood to talk to people (I'm a social worker) but I'm not so cognitively impaired that I can't work. I'm just screwed up enough to feel like I'm suffering. So we'll see how the return to work goes...

    I feel like my therapy helps in the sense that I have someone to talk to, but two months later I still feel so much fear and guilt, despite being safe and knowing I'm doing the right thing. I don't know how to work on it or feel completely okay with what's happening. I lie awake for hours feeling scared and sad. I try to bring my mind to the present and remind myself that people survive this, but I get scary moments of feeling like I can't get through this, fear of the past and fear of the future.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Pink.

    The past is history and the future isn't here yet, it's a mystery.

    ".. fear of the past and fear of the future."

    We cannot foretell the future. It is hard to sidestep the suffering, the scariness. But, you will.

  3. #13
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    You ARE strong , you did the hard part, you left.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PinkMoonlite
    I wish I was this strong. Not that I feel bad about the pills- I've suffered anxiety/depression since I was a teen and I feel better on medication so that aspect I'm okay with. But I feel unable to work- but I have no choice but to return because I was denied more of a paid leave. It's unfortunate- I'm crying sporadically, sleep deprived, have poor concentration and I'm not in the mood to talk to people (I'm a social worker) but I'm not so cognitively impaired that I can't work. I'm just screwed up enough to feel like I'm suffering. So we'll see how the return to work goes...

    I feel like my therapy helps in the sense that I have someone to talk to, but two months later I still feel so much fear and guilt, despite being safe and knowing I'm doing the right thing. I don't know how to work on it or feel completely okay with what's happening. I lie awake for hours feeling scared and sad. I try to bring my mind to the present and remind myself that people survive this, but I get scary moments of feeling like I can't get through this, fear of the past and fear of the future.
    My heart goes out to you. I don't know your journey but I know what it was like. I wasn't strong. I guess I just hid it better. Pre-covid I'd work but end up having the unfortunate wetness of tears on my face and then excuse myself to a bathroom stall to clean up and then went back to the work. I threw myself in my work which ironically excelled and was recognized for my achievements in 2020 which to me was a blur and I didn't quite feel I deserved it. It was just a matter of doing that or ...disintegrating. My hat off to you as a social worker. It might help interacting with others again and I hope it goes smoothly for you.

    Peace comes naturally after you realize that you can't put the past back together again and it's out of your hands. Keep the faith (in yourself and your future). You don't have to feel bad about anything or the way you feel. Slowly with time things will come back together.

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  6. #15
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    I appealed for a bit more sick leave, but if denied I have to just return to work despite how unready I feel. It's a job I don't love, but it's a job during a pandemic nonetheless. I'm trying to just be tough and do what I have to. It's just really hard to imagine having a joyful life when I'm so lonely all the time. There's also this feeling that no one understands. No one understands why I stayed in this situation for so long and got married, or what it's like to go through this at an age when all my peers are just getting married and having kids. I had therapy today and I completely forgot to bring up my thoughts on PTSD, but the therapist thinks I've been disassociating due to trauma and says that normal... so I guess nothing concerning? I don't know why I feel so unsettled or what to do with this deep feeling of loneliness/being misunderstood. All I can do is keep posting my thoughts and being grateful people read and respond.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    You feel unsettled because you are unsettled. You left a place that you were familiar with. Even though it was a painful, uncomfortable place, and even though it was in your best interest to leave, it was still a home. It will take you a little while to settle into your new surroundings.

    As for what to do about your loneliness and feelings of being misunderstood.... Care to elaborate on those feelings? Well I think I can easily understand why you feel lonely at the moment. But why do you feel misunderstood, and by whom?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PinkMoonlite
    I had therapy today and I completely forgot to bring up my thoughts on PTSD
    I used to write down my thoughts and questions during the week and bring them to my therapist. Made sure I got the most out of my time lol!

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta

    As for what to do about your loneliness and feelings of being misunderstood.... Care to elaborate on those feelings? Well I think I can easily understand why you feel lonely at the moment. But why do you feel misunderstood, and by whom?
    I feel misunderstood by pretty much everyone. I don't even think I fully understand myself, I'm just making my decisions and pushing myself towards who I want to be and the life I want to have. But no one understands how I could have stayed in a relationship where I was made to feel this way, no one understands why I knowingly married this person. No one understands how I could love/have loved someone who had a cruel side. I think also people don't fully believe me? I feel like this is painful to go through alone so I desperately wish someone understood. My parents and brother don't fully understand, although they say they support me and want to know how to help me. They're doing their best so I'm not too frustrated with them to be honest.

    My husband's older sister, who I've had a good relationship with for the last decade- does not understand. I shouldn't expect her to side with me and I'm no longer speaking to her, but it hurt deeply that she thought me and my husband just aren't a good fit- not that he was ever inappropriate or abusive. I wanted her to acknowledge and understand so badly. Sometimes it feels like I'm crazy or that I made the whole thing up, but I know better.

    My few friends don't fully understand, they think showing me pictures of their recent babies and weddings will help me lol. I don't feel jealousy or resentment towards them- honestly. But it's hard to muster up excitement for them when I struggle getting through my days.

    Also my family and friends don't understand my anxiety for the future, which I'm doing my best not to dwell on. It's easy for them to say not to worry about getting remarried and having children, when they've all got pretty stable lives.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think you need to be more careful about who you're telling these details to. People will ask or may ask because it's the polite thing to do but you have to deal with it largely on your own without feeling like you are entirely alone (because you have loved ones), know what I mean?

    In the whole explaining ordeal you're losing parts of yourself and stretched thin trying to get people to accept your decisions. The only thing you should be focusing on is recovering from the shock of separation and dealing with the idea of your marriage ending. This was the hardest part for me personally and took me months and months.

    Don't look for outside acceptance for your decisions and absolutely don't put up with critiques of your self-worth or negative criticisms of your previous decisions. Now isn't the time to get defensive or argue with anyone (most of all your support network). You can do that later on after you've started to get back on your feet, working, find your own place and recreate a new life for yourself if you feel comfortable speaking about it with kind, caring and supportive family members or friends. Be careful who you let into your life right now especially on the finer details of why you separated or are getting divorced.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's good you stopped looking for validation, understanding or empathy from him and his people. Hopefully you've deleted and blocked them from all your social media and messaging apps and devices.

    Try not to look for "understanding" from the outside. Your peace comes from you, not other people's social media about weddings and babies.

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