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Thread: My gf is going to hangout with her oldcrush knowing he likes her

  1. #1

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    My gf is going to hangout with her oldcrush knowing he likes her

    We are in a long distance relationship for 1 year already. She is amazing, she makes me a better person and I really love her. I know is the same for her since she told me she has never loved anybody as much as she does to me. However, we are always having conflicts over the same stuff again and again. She is always having guys flirting with her, sometimes she even hangs out alone with the guys. I told her how uncomfortable it makes me but she told me that she doesnt like them but she only does it because they pay her the food and icecreams. I was really uncomfortable but learned to trust her since she is always telling me everything she does and even gave me her social media accounts (I didnt ask for it, and I am not checking on it either).

    We always have conflict over the same 2 guys, her ex and her old crush. The arguments we have over her abusive ex were several times (She about to go to another city and staying one night with him in the other city for a funeral, her ex talking bad things about our relationship and her believing it, her ex wanting to come back with her, and so on). Even when she knows all of this she keeps on texting with him whenever he texts her. She promised me last week that she would block him and not talk to him anymore since she really loved me and didnt want to lose me and would do what she can to compromise on things that bother me.

    Now her old crush, she used to think he was physically handsome and still think about it; however, once she started texting with him she told me she really dislike his personality and the way he texts (at this point we both knew her old crush likes her). After a couple of months it turns out he became a really good friend of her when she told me she dislike his personality. She told me he kept on texting her everyday and that he knew she has a boyfriend so she didnt feel like she was doing anything wrong by replying and keep on talking with him. She made a special ringtone whenever she receives texts from him (same as me), and told me she wont block him because he is a good friend to her. We probably had two arguments about this because I was feeling really uncomfortable knowing that. They stopped talking for a while because her friend likes the guy and told her she didnt want her talking with him. Now that her friend and her fought a few days ago, her oldcrush texted my gf for her birthday and ask her to hangout which she accepted. She told me everything about it and that they were going to go eat pizza and walk over the beach while talking over stuffs. I didnt know what to say since we had like 2 arguments about this before. So I just said ok.

    I am really uncomfortable knowing all of that but I am a little bit tired of having the same arguments over the same thing and guys over and over. I am really starting to feel like a controlling person. Since she told me that yesterday I have been acting more distant today because I dont know what to do. I am very confused if I am being the problem here but I am sure that I am a little bit upset and I am pretty sure she knows it. I would appreciate any advice or your point of view on this thank you.

  2. #2
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    How old are you guys?

  3. #3

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    Im 24 and she is 19

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    Platinum Member gsxr104's Avatar
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    You're playing with fire

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  6. #5
    Gold Member ShySoul's Avatar
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    I don't think you are controlling, just a little insecure and jealous. That's also understandable. It's not a pleasant thought thinking of your girlfriend spending time with someone she used to be involved with or who she had feelings for. There's going to be uneasy feeling that things could go wrong. Unfortunately, who she wants to spend time with his her choice. To try to tell her she can't would be controlling, which you don't seem like that kind of person. You have expressed your concern. She is also being very open about her actions. Unless she's given you other reasons to be concerned with the relationship, you need to trust her. If you are together long enough, there will probably be a time where you friends with someone she doesn't care for. You would want her to trust you, right? So you should trust her.

    Did she stop talking to the ex? While I think the crush is probably just a friendship and he seems respectful of her situation with you, I'm concerned about the ex. If he was abusive and has said bad things about you and her, then she shouldn't be talking about him. He has hurt her behavior and she needs to avoid putting herself in position to be hurt again. If the issue with him continues, let her know that your concern is for her and that you don't want to see him hurt her again. There's a reason he is an ex.

  7. #6

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    Am I overreacting if I bring this up again to her? I feel like I am being controlling since we already had arguments about her old crush several times before. She has been texting me today and although I hate to be acting distant towards her I just cannot help it since I feel uncomfortable or upset everytime I think about it. I think I am just afraid to keep investing emotionally on her because of all of this.

  8. #7
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    Not only does she use guys for food, but she is an attention seeker. She is also disrespecting you by hanging out with these guys for attention.

    I do not agree with Shysoul, I think that you need to lose this girl as she is already emotionally cheating. She is also of low character and a user.

    Find someone better! This girl does not value you, at all!

  9. #8

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    Originally Posted by ShySoul
    I don't think you are controlling, just a little insecure and jealous. That's also understandable. It's not a pleasant thought thinking of your girlfriend spending time with someone she used to be involved with or who she had feelings for. There's going to be uneasy feeling that things could go wrong. Unfortunately, who she wants to spend time with his her choice. To try to tell her she can't would be controlling, which you don't seem like that kind of person. You have expressed your concern. She is also being very open about her actions. Unless she's given you other reasons to be concerned with the relationship, you need to trust her. If you are together long enough, there will probably be a time where you friends with someone she doesn't care for. You would want her to trust you, right? So you should trust her.

    Did she stop talking to the ex? While I think the crush is probably just a friendship and he seems respectful of her situation with you, I'm concerned about the ex. If he was abusive and has said bad things about you and her, then she shouldn't be talking about him. He has hurt her behavior and she needs to avoid putting herself in position to be hurt again. If the issue with him continues, let her know that your concern is for her and that you don't want to see him hurt her again. There's a reason he is an ex.

    Yes you are right, I guess all I can do right now is trust her. It just bothers me that she knows he likes her but she still wants to hang out with him. My gf and I know he likes her since he invited my gf to play a phone game in where they ask only sexual questions, he also asked her if she had a boyfriend and asked her to send her a voice note so he can put it on his ringtone (this is the reason why my gf also put his voice note as a ringtone whenever she gets his messages). He used to text my gf everyday asking her to hang out with him to see the sunrise in the beach, talk and do many other things with her (they never met in person before), but she wouldnt do it because she knew it made me uncomfortable.

    Yes, I told her that I was concerned because I didnt want to see her getting hurt again. According to my gf, she just told her ex that she doesnt like him anymore and can be only friends with him and help him whenever he needs help. I appreciate your help thank you!

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ShySoul
    I don't think you are controlling, just a little insecure and jealous. That's also understandable. It's not a pleasant thought thinking of your girlfriend spending time with someone she used to be involved with or who she had feelings for. There's going to be uneasy feeling that things could go wrong. Unfortunately, who she wants to spend time with his her choice. To try to tell her she can't would be controlling, which you don't seem like that kind of person. You have expressed your concern. She is also being very open about her actions. Unless she's given you other reasons to be concerned with the relationship, you need to trust her. If you are together long enough, there will probably be a time where you friends with someone she doesn't care for. You would want her to trust you, right? So you should trust her.

    Did she stop talking to the ex? While I think the crush is probably just a friendship and he seems respectful of her situation with you, I'm concerned about the ex. If he was abusive and has said bad things about you and her, then she shouldn't be talking about him. He has hurt her behavior and she needs to avoid putting herself in position to be hurt again. If the issue with him continues, let her know that your concern is for her and that you don't want to see him hurt her again. There's a reason he is an ex.
    What the gf is doing is completely unacceptable!

  11. #10

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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Not only does she use guys for food, but she is an attention seeker. She is also disrespecting you by hanging out with these guys for attention.

    I do not agree with Shysoul, I think that you need to lose this girl as she is already emotionally cheating. She is also of low character and a user.

    Find someone better! This girl does not value you, at all!
    I remember asking her if she liked the attention she received from all of those guys because I was thinking about it at a certain point. She just told me she dont like to make them feel bad by ignoring them or replying them badly. I was curious because she told me she was a reserved person and that I didnt have to worry about guys since she doesnt talk to any guy at all. However, these last months new "friends" keeps on appearing in her life and keep inviting her to eat outside. Although I know she doesnt like them and just think of them as friends that invite her food, I still feel uncomfortable. I just learned to accept it I guess. I think the reason why it bothers me so much is also because we are currently in a long distance relationship.

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