I'm really sorry that you went through this, and I hope you are successful in avoiding traps like this in the future. I think you will be. I know it seems all jumbled up in your head right now, but you've really described the situation well, and it's clear that you had breakthrough moments throughout the relationship and afterwards. Unfortunately, you tended to dismiss your breakthrough moments while in the relationship, but you do recognize them in hindsight, and that is important.

Let me tell you what I see, with an outsider's perspective:

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
There were no awkward silences and I felt like I found my perfect man. We stayed at the restaurant until around 11pm when it shut and we got asked to leave and were the last couple in there as we were speaking for so long we didn’t even realise the time and he payed for everything (it was a very expensive meal) He asked me if I wanted to go on another date the next night (Saturday) which I thought was a bit odd and intense however, I agreed to it as I really enjoyed his company. At this point, I didn’t even really consider the conversation that we had had that night until after the relationship has ended. On our first date, this individual informed me that he had tried to take his own life a few months prior, and that he was admitted to a psychiatric unit. He informed me that he said to the psychiatrist that he felt fine and was discharged from the unit and psychiatric care but placed on an antidepressant. He informed me was doing well at present and this was all behind him. Looking back, bit intense for a first date and probably a red flag. But, I ignored it….why? I have no idea.
I think I know why: You have an intense craving for security and intimacy in relationships. Everyone craves these things to some degree, but your desire for them eclipses your sense of self-preservation.

When Mr. X started to divulge to you (what most people would consider to be) painful and private memories, you saw it as evidence of a sense of closeness and trust.

Indeed, people typically only share things like this with their closest confidants. I think that many people would have been put off by someone 'oversharing' like this on the first date. They would have put it into perspective immediately: This guy doesn't know me at all. Why is he telling me all of this?

But, due perhaps to your upbringing, you have a somewhat distorted perception of the landscape of appropriateness. It didn't occur to you that vulnerable people don't lay it all out for complete strangers. You didn't question it. You saw intimacy and trust, and you took the money and ran, so to speak.

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
Then…. the devaluation started... Looking back, it’s quite hard to pinpoint exactly when this happened as I believe it crossed over with the love bombing stage of the relationship.
I believe you are right. Actually, I'd argue that the devaluation started the morning after date two.

It's not your fault. But you unwittingly opened the door. Your own sense of devaluation hangs on you, whether you realize it or not. People like him sense that, the same way that mosquitos sense a source of blood (they're not great masterminds, probably not even aware of their own true nature). Two examples of your self-devaluation stand out to me, though I'm sure there were even more subtle signs: You spent hours enrapt by his excessive oversharing, and then you sort of tried to slink away after sex ("I'll see you when I see you").

I think this is actually the first time he devalued you. It was wrapped up in a compliment, but it tested your boundaries:

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
he disagreed firmly with me and said no we’re going for breakfast.... he informed me that he had deleted Tinder and that he really liked me so I was quite taken aback by this after how quiet he was that morning. I said that’s a bit weird deleting tinder you’ve known me 2 days, do you not want to see other people? He said no he didn’t and he wanted to try things with me and when he does do things he does them “seriously” and not half arsed.
And then this was a deeper test of what you would put up with:

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
I remember him texting me a few times telling me he was “in a mood” and didn’t want to see me that night, but never specified the reason.
You lied to yourself and pretended this did not bother you:

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
I was busy with uni so I didn’t pay too much attention to it.
Let's face it: you were concerned. If you didn't pay attention to it, you wouldn't be remembering it two years later.

You were right to be concerned about this. But instead of listening to yourself and valuing your reaction, you stuffed it... perhaps out of a sense of shame.

Even now, you sort of gloss over the whole "i'm in a mood" disappearance trick. You provide no frequency or time frame for it, although you have other relationship landmarks nailed down to the week.

But back to the devaluation.....

The other evidence of devaluation was the lovebombing: I love you, move in with me. And when you didn't snap to it: you're cheating on me. Then talk of mariage, fun dates, promises of a loving future together forever.

Yes, that's devaluation. He's selling you bullsh*t because he knows you'll buy it. It's just like a huckster selling someone fake gold, or fake diamonds. They know their market: find the person who doesn't know the difference.

More overtly, he's telling you what to do. And you seemed to prefer it that way, possibly because you felt protected from the risk of rejection. By making demands, he's the one who seems to be risking rejection, not you.

So, the devaluation began almost immediately. But the candy coating didn't drop off until 10-months in. Then you became aware of it.

Good on you for getting out. You know what happened and you know what to do. You've literally screamed it at yourself, so keep listening:

Originally Posted by Findingnemo94
BLOCK THIS PERSON FROM YOUR LIFE.

DO NOT REMAIN FRIENDS WITH THEM.

THEY WILL USE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT.

YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE LIKE THIS.

THERE IS A CLEAR LOVE-BOMB, DEVALUE AND BRUTAL DISCARD IN MY CASE.
I'd also like to add:

TRUST YOUR GUT. DON'T DISMISS YOUR MISGIVINGS LIKE YOU DID WITH "I'M IN A MOOD." Getting Ready for a First Date